Why do people always make these excuses to childfree people?

From what I've experienced, people (mostly parents or hopefuls) always said...





';You're too young to be making this decision';


';Who will take care of your when you're older?';


';Children are a blessing and a gift in marriage';


';If you want to get married, then be prepared to have children';


';No girl/guy would want you if you don't want kids or went permanantly sterile';








I'm could be missing more quotes. But the question is, why do people always make these lame excuses to childfree people?Why do people always make these excuses to childfree people?
Your right, those are stupid excuses. I am asked continuously by a 350 pound, single big mouthed person who's favorite line is ';Get Busy';. I finally told her that I have a condition which doesn't allow me to have kids. And then walked away. She finally shut her big mouth and filled it with food instead.Why do people always make these excuses to childfree people?
They're not excuses, they are valid feelings, thoughts and ideas. However these people feel the need to project their feelings onto anyone who does not feel the same way they do. I don't have any kids, not exactly by choice, but it just ended up that way...I didn't want kids when I was younger, and when I didn't get married in my ';child bearing years';, I decided that if I got married, and my husband wanted kids, I'd be open to having one. Well, I was 41 when I got married, and my husband's youngest from his previous marriage was already in high school. He said he'd have one if I wanted one, but I wasn't really crazy about the idea of raising a toddler in my 40s, a teenager in my 50s, and possibly be dead before I see any of my grandchildren.





BTW, anyone who says you should have kids so you'll have someone to take care of you when your old should be shot. Save all the freaking money you'd spend on even ONE kid and you could hire a live in nurse to take care of you 'til you die!!!
I think that parents feel very validated by their choice to have children and that it's what you're ';supposed to do.'; But I can come up with several equally good reasons not to have children. And I know a lot of families where they had kids because it was the next step, and life is chaos for the kids, the parents, and there is some resentment. I, and several of my friends, are childfree by choice.
I've been married for 20 years with three children and I honestly don't say those things to my friends who are unmarried or do not have children. Some people don't want to get married and some people don't want children and some want them but can't because of fertility problems...those comments can be hurtful to the people you care about and I try not to do that. Sorry if that's been your experience, I'm sure they were only trying to get you to see their side of life, not to hurt you. It's your choice...do what you want.
It really doesn't matter what people think or say. In the long run it is YOU that is stuck with the consequences! People will ALWAYS say things!!!! It will drive you nuts if you try to please them (which I am not saying you are, just trying to state a point). For example when you are single it will be ';When are you going to get married?';, When you're married it will be, ';When are you going to have children?'; When you have a child it will be, ';When are you going to have another?'; Get the drift? People are never satisfied, that or they are running out of things to talk about. :)
I don't know where you are getting your quotes from, but I am married, have children, and I have never said those things. I do think that the 3rd quote is true. I don't think that any of these quotes are ';excuses';. Excuses for what exactly? I have absolutely NO excuses or explanations to make to people who have no children or people who do. I really don't think you know what you are trying to ask.
I don't know about anyone else. The fact is, children ARE a blessing and one I nearly missed out on because I was so adamant I didn't want them. The feeling you have for your own is unlike anything any other child has ever made you feel. My kids are the light of my life. Yet I had to be talked into it by my husband, and gave in only grudgingly. So there you are: I guess people say these things because they care about you and they know something that you don't know - that's you're missing out.
Because some people have a goal in their life to get married and have a family- they cannot understand that there are others who are quite happy to wait until later before having children or to not have them at all.


My partner and I are both in the situation where we will have kids in a few more years but not ready now, and all of our younger friends have just got married and had or having a baby. Its frustrating because we accept that they are ready to completely settle down but they cannot understand that we are NOT ready to. And we sooo hate it when they say ';when you do have children one day you will understand!!'; grrrrrrr LOL
It's because when you tell people who have children that you don't want any, they get defensive. It's normal. Example: You drive Chevy truck that you love and someone say's to that they hate chevy's and would never drive one. You would get all difensive. Just say '; Kids are really cool, they just aren't condusive to my lifestyle'; rather than saying '; I don't want kids';. That way you don't get misunderstood.
They’re not lame excuses. Often as not, they’re quite true. People do change their minds. People do look for security when they’re older. You may not be one of those people, but people who see you label yourself “childfree” may believe you are.





At any rate, your reproductive status is none of their business. Tell them politely, then perhaps not so politely if they persist, to back off.
whenever I hear about people without kids I say ';must be nice'; or ';you should keep it that way';, don't get me wrong I love my kids I just wish I could get atleast a 5 minute break and theres just too many of them I have 4 my advice to everyone no more than 1.
because mostly they do not want to believe that someone is so selfish that they would not want to care for offspring. Most human beings have that desire; and the ones who don't lack something. People that have children don't understand that, and so make excuses.
Dude I got married, never intended to have kids, do not have kids now, and I have never been subjected to any of that. I don't know where you get ';always';, or who's in your business...
They don't want you to have fun, like them!


If you do not want to hafve kids don't have them.


There are enough people making enough of babies the human race will not run out...
Why do you let it bother you? You've obviously figured out what you want. Go with it. Don't listen to what others think is best for you.
Because they do not think outside of the box so to speak..some folk chose NOT to have kids and are happy..and trust me a real man or woman would not leave you if someone was sterile there are other options
Misery loves company-
screw what other people think. if you don't want to have children, that your choice.
Man, trust me when I say I've heard it all. I don't have any kids myself. And I don't plan on it either (I'm almost 30). And I would hear my girlfriends trying to sell me wolf tickets on how wonderful it is to have children, and how grate it is to be a mother. But then they turn around and complain about paying for childcare, or how they can't go out and do the things they want too, because they don’t' have a babysitter.





I enjoy my freedom, I'm enjoying my life. I have a relationship in the making and the guy I'm talking too doesn't have the strong desire to have children either. So if we did make it official, we may not have kids. And there's nothing wrong with that. Children are very big responsibilities. That's another human being that needs to be taken care of, and that can be very hard to do if you're barely taking care of yourself. Don't pay it any attention. If you don't want to have kids, then don't do it. No matter what they say to you it's your choice.





I had a dude curse me out, and tell me I wasn't fit to walk to the face of the earth because I didn't want to ';give back'; to society. I could care less. And it not selfish either. Why have kids if you really don't want them. Now you have a child that you're not going to take care of because you didn't want them in the first place. Don't even worry about it.