My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?

i am 44,he 57 ,married 4 years,he said if i dont want child,he decides to divorce because it's not fair for him. He said i am a mentally sick woman,every woman wants child,except me. He said i put my life at risk now to refuse to have child for him.





what is the best way to handle this more peacefully?My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?
Tell him he was born in the ice age, and welcome his divorce. You are not mentally sick, and no, not ';everyone'; wants one.


Tell him you welcome putting your life at risk and you don't need him. He's thickheaded there is no ';peaceful way';, he's obviously got a huge ego and wants to show it off to the world.My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?
I guess the real question is did either of you discuss the possibility of having children before you got married, and what were your expectations, and did either or both of you make that known?


If he entered the marriage knowing that you didn't want children, and accepted that, and married anyway, then he is now at fault, because he wants to change the things you two had agreed to, and planned on.


If you knew that he wanted children, and you did not, and you did not tell him, in order to be married anyway, then you were at fault.


If neither of you brought this particular subject up before getting married then you are both at fault, for not having sorted out such a major issue before making the commitment.


Can your marriage get past this? Not if you both feel strongly about your point. It is too big an issue.
I think maybe I wouldn't give him a child, as you both are too old,you need to send him to a shrink, inform him of the facts of life, if we start now, hes 58 when the baby is 1, when the child's 10, and wanting to explore life riding bikes, etc, hes 68, and slowing down preferring to watch football, when the child is 15, in her teens, he is 78, and hasn't a chance of taking her to the fun parks in Queensland, forget Disneyland.He will be far better, to get in the real world, and start booking holidays, to Bali, Fiji, hong kong, where you both can have a ball and enjoy life.


If he is stuck in a groove, it could be a good to to reevaluate your life, and book yourself on a holiday to Bali, and maybe leaving him behind, might make the bum wake up, if not move on
This should have been discussed and resolved before your marriage. If you two can't do counseling, then, you may want to give him his divorce. After all, why would you bring a child into a home where they're half wanted. This would be an unhappy environment to bring a child up, and the marriage would be destroyed anyway before they are grown. Tell him to bring over his niece or nephews or friends kids when he has that farther feeling, and they may help change his mind. At least you can take them back to their parents once he figures out his selfish actions.
Not wanting a child does not make you mentally sick. I know women (and men) who don't want to have children. And that's just fine.





If I was married to someone who considered my lifestyle choices ';mentally sick';, I probably wouldn't want to be married to that person.





How is your relationship otherwise? How do you feel about him? Maybe it's worth trying couple counseling. Maybe counseling could show he can channel his father instinct other ways, such as coaching a sport, mentoring, --- by the way, Big Brother Big Sister organization always needs men who want to be a ';big brother'; to a little child without a good father figure.





And, hey, what's that about saying you put your life at risk? Is he threatening you???
Having children is not for every woman and their is nothing wrong with that. You can't be a good mother to a child you never wanted to have.





You were 40 when he married you. For most women that is too old to start a family for many reasons.





Didn't the two of you talk about having children BEFORE you got married? You should have.





What makes him think that he should have children, when he is 57 years old? When that child is 20 he will be 77.





What does he mean when he says you put your LIFE AT RISK NOW to refuse to have a child for him??? Is he threatening to kill you?





I would think twice about staying with a man who threatens my life in anyway, if I won't give him a child when I'm 44 years old.





Forget about handling this in a more peaceful way. Just run for the hills, girl! You don't need this kind of abuse. Yes this qualifies as abuse.
This is an issue you need to discuss BEFORE you get married.





You're not mentally sick for not wanting to have children. But if he wants children and you don't, then let him go. This is not an issue you can compromise on--you can't have half a child. Either way you go, someone in the relationship will be unhappy.





If you live in the US, he can get a divorce rather you agree to it or not.
First, you are NOT mentally sick. You are doing the right thing to not have a child if you do not want to be a Mother. Second, this is a major conflict of interests in a marriage, and you two probably should go your separate ways. There is, unfortunatly, no compromise on this. There is no ';meet in the middle';.
I am sorry to hear that you both have different opinions when it comes to having children.Only you two know exactly whether you are ready to bring in a new life.It is a serious commitment and decision.If that really matters that much to him, I feel you should let him go,unless you both can reach a really good and reasonable compromise.
Uh? He is mental. Asking a women in her mid forties to bare a child. Totally nuts!


At 44 you actually have a harder time with pregnancy than at an earlier age. (Including your own health) and your child has a higher risk of birth defects.


Furthermore he is dead wrong! Not every woman wants a child. I don't and quite a few of my friends down'
If you don't want a child then you don't want a child. Maybe you should be the one to ask for a divorce since he treats you like a breeding machine. Also at 57 he is also very old to be a father.
If you both have your minds set, then you should probably divorce. This was a discussion best suited before you got married.