Thursday, January 21, 2010

For the childfree: what did people start saying when you were ';old'; enough?

You know how if you say you don't want kids when you're young, you get ';you're too young, you'll change your mind'; from everyone. Well, once you hit 30 or 35 and you hadn't changed your mind, how did people's reactions change (people who knew about your choice a long time ago who gave you the ';too young'; crap)?





Sounds like childfree questions go in the parenting section so here it is.For the childfree: what did people start saying when you were ';old'; enough?
They quit saying that to some extent after I turned 35. But I honestly think that 9-11-01 a bigger contribution, as people come around to the fact that the world is a bad place to have children.





I usually get the ';wait until you are my age';, or ';it is never too late';, speeches from people that are a lot younger than I am. They look older than I do (but they are at least 10 years younger than I am). I ignore them.





I started dressing more ';retro'; so people who just met me will get some perspective that I am older than they are. Once they realized that I am over 40, they change. Some say things like, ';congratulations on making it to 40 with no children';, or ';you made the right choice, I wish I had done the same';.





Also keep in mind that being child free is much more vogue that it used to be. It has caught on pretty big in Europe and Japan. I think the USA is only just starting to realize that we exist. You know how stubborn Americans can be.





I hang with the child free click. I don't know anyone that regrets it. They rather enjoy looking younger, and having a more full life than all their friends who are parents. I also know a lot of parents that regret having children.For the childfree: what did people start saying when you were ';old'; enough?
Actually, the comments change from ';You're too young to make that decision!'; to ';It's not too late if you hurry!';





Like Childfree Wolf above, I get the ';Wait till you're my age'; lecture from people who are younger than me. I just smile and change the subject. When/if they find out I'm older than them, they usually don't want to discuss it anymore.





So the bingos never quit, they just change as you get older. Remember, living well is the best revenge.
My friend and her husband don't want children. At around 35 people started telling her firmly that she really needed to think harder about her decision and take it seriously because it would be too late to change her mind later. Well, at 37 she got divorced and now that she's alone realizes that she wanted to be a mother and was influenced by her husband. I feel bad for her. My aunts and uncles who never had children are all in their 60's now and are all alone. I know they regret it.

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