Monday, December 28, 2009

Does anyone think there is an increase of childfree women?

Us childfree men are tired of running into the wrong women who happens to want children. Now I don't have a problem with people who want them, but there should be a great number of women who never wants children as well.





Does anyone believe that the number childfree women is on the rise?








PS: No rude answers: My block list is completly full.


Does anyone think there is an increase of childfree women?
Yes, there are more and more every day. There will be more as the word gets out. Women are catching on that they have the right to choose not to have children. So many choose to have them because they fear what society will say about them.





The reason you have so much trouble finding them, is because they only represent about 10-15% of all the women in the USA. Most of them that I run into are married already. I think the child-free men snap them up quick.





The key is to get the word out. Also I have noted that most childfree women are really nuts about pets, the environment, and healthy eating. If you want to meet childfree women, then volunteer at a pet shelter, shop at farmers markets, etc. In other words be where child-free women are likely to be.





Sign up on www.plentyoffish.com, or www.OKCupid.com. Put a good photograph of yourself on there, and state that you are child-free, in your profile.





I said I had a vasectomy right there in my profile. I received a lot of messages from women that were child-free, and a lot from women that asked me if I was willing to change my mind. Just delete the ones that are not child-free. I picked an ';empty nester'; because I liked her.





Maybe you will find a part-time mom that does not want more children. Anyway, if you don't make an effort to meet someone, then you will not!Does anyone think there is an increase of childfree women?
I'm also childfree, and I find some the comments here pretty offensive!





Not wanting kids doesn't mean we can't love and not want to find that special someone.

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First off, thank you for using the term ';childfree'; and not ';childless';


It's helpful as it implies choice and doesn't give a negative vibe.





I can't really say for sure because I don't believe society has progressed enough to accept childfree people. I mean we're barely accepting gay marriage. The pressure to raise children is amazing particularly among women, men have always been able to get away with it.





As far as actual numbers of women who might have remained childfree is given a true choice, I think it's very small. Humans want to procreate and I do honestly think the urge is stronger in women, though I don't think there is anything wrong if it is absent. Plus you have the whole lifetime decision thing. Childfree is a constant decision, whereas having a child need really only be made once (excepting sterility for both situations)
I don't think the number of childfree women is rising.. but I do know many many women who are ';looking for a man to marry and have kids with.'; I can see it being annoying if you're not looking for that yet.





I think people of both sexes who want to be married with kids and are not interested in a relationship otherwise should have to wear buttons or something. :p





I've seen it happen both ways - a female friend of mine drove away a great guy, she kept nagging for a wedding and a house and 3 kids.. he was just not ready yet (not even totally oppsosed to it all, just not proposing fast enough for her...). And I lost a decent guy who wanted a woman to marry, and cook dinner and bear his kids.... I'm not ready for that yet.
Yes, as birth control techniques have gotten better, people thankfully have more options in life than marriedwithchildren or virginal nun.





Though your smug use of the term ';childfree'; is annoying, I wish you the best of luck in finding a mate. I think that you probably will have good luck with women who are past the age of possibility - 40's and up.





....And when you are 92 and in a nursing home, and someone else's child is feeding you lunch, you can marvel at the fact that someone else did the work while you enjoyed the benefits. You're welcome for my contribution to our economy and to your future self.
There are these really realistic looking sex dolls that are 100% child free. They have no plots to exchange body fluids with you in order to steal your DNA.





In all seriousness, there are child free women everywhere, but you can't expect them to be the majority when most people are biologically programmed and socially conditioned to want to pass on their genes.
Why don't you just stipulate that prior to dating? That sure would stop your headaches, eh?


Seriously, you need to be up front about it, but not condescending. I think it would save you and your potential paramour a lot of grief if you got that out in the open ASAP.
no, women will keep breeding.





I doubt the increase or decrease of reproducing women will improve your chances.





Sounds like you want sex without commitment.





No wonder you can't get a date.





You could try the reptile store...









Yes there are, I am one but there is still social pressure. When my husband tells people he doesn't want kids, their first reaction is OMG, what avout your wife? They assume that a woman not wanting kids is wierd or unnatural.
I really do think that a lot of women in their 20s don't want kids right now so you might start there.
There is an increase of childfree people in general.
You sound pretty young.





There's an excellent chance you will change your mind later.


That's a major reason physicians refuse to perform tubal ligations on young women - many change their mind later. Same thing exactly applies to men.
  • philosophy
  • Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?

    Ok, I've gotten answers on one of my questions and people say there won't be anymore childfree individuals (guys and girls) as time moves on. Does anybody believe that?





    Will there be no more young childfree women left in the next decade or so? Which age would be best for a guy to find a real woman?





    Would it be best to be single if a guy hasn't found the girl who was his type?Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?
    Why in the world will there eventually be no childfree people? It's not some genetic condition that will die out if we don't reproduce it. There will always be childfree men and women. Please don't resign yourself to being single forever just because you haven't found the right woman who also doesn't want kids. They are definitely out there and they're looking for childfree guys.





    As for a ';non-parent gene,'; I'm not buying that. My sister has 6 kids and loves being a mom, and I'm childfree. Same genetics and environment, so I think being CF is an individual choice, not something you're born with.Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?
    What was that person's argument, I wonder? I'm betting it's just wishful thinking. I can't think of any reason why the entire human species would spontaneously decide they all want kids if they don't already. Do you think you're going to change your mind about wanting kids? If not, then why would you expect others to?





    I'm going to give you the same advice I give everyone about dating: if you haven't found the right person yet, don't worry about it so much. Find a way to emotionally be ok with being single. More than likely, you'll find the one for you eventually. But you never know when that will happen, so until it does, just relax and enjoy the life you have. There's no reason you should have to permanently give up.
    Why wouldn't there be childfree people? If anything there are going to be more if recent trends keep up.





    A lot of people of all ages, male and female, do not want to have kids. I'm one of them, I have absolutely no desire to reproduce. Edit: I always hear I'm young and will change my mind, but no really I don't want to have kids.





    What do you mean by real women? Any age over 18 is good for dating.





    You should wait until you find someone you can love for years to come, especially before starting a family.
    There are many childless women in every age category for all kinds of reasons: some choose not to have them, some can't have them, some waiting for a couple more years so to speak to maybe start having them (?)... Somehow I do not think that this situation will change, because people like having options too much, especially when it comes to their bodies and their freedom.
    There are more and more childless people out there today. I have no idea where you are getting that it will be the other way around. I don't see that trend going the way you described but rather continuing on its present course.





    It is always best to stay single than to be with ANYONE just for the sake of not being single.
    IF you mean that sex will (once again) begin to produce children,why YES, we face the imminent end of the Petroleum Age, which was the primary driver of the ';contraceptive age';. So, yes, I do think that the sex act will once again become united with the reproductive act.
    No, it will probably in fact ';grow';. As soon as people realize what children are turning into these days, they aren't going to want to add to the chaos. So take heart, you'll find one who feels just like you do.
    They believe there is a parent' gene which encourages or discourages people to have kids, so the 'non-parent' gene people will die out. But I don't buy it - no-one inherits childlessness from their parents! There will always be childless people :-)
    As long as this planet hold life there will be all kinds living here; those who want kids and those who don't. What is best is that person does what is best for them; above all to never mind what others have to say.
    Not everyone likes children. Not everyone likes licorice either.
    There will always be childless people of all ages. Some people just don't want children.
    I'd say it's best to be single if you haven't found ';that one.';





    As far as child bearing goes, if feminism has it's way, we will cease to reproduce.

    Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?

    Ok, I've gotten answers on one of my questions and people say there won't be anymore childfree individuals (guys and girls) as time moves on. Does anybody believe that?





    Will there be no more young childfree women left in the next decade or so? Which age would be best for a guy to find a real woman?





    Would it be best to be single if a guy hasn't found the girl who was his type?Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?
    Why in the world will there eventually be no childfree people? It's not some genetic condition that will die out if we don't reproduce it. There will always be childfree men and women. Please don't resign yourself to being single forever just because you haven't found the right woman who also doesn't want kids. They are definitely out there and they're looking for childfree guys.





    As for a ';non-parent gene,'; I'm not buying that. My sister has 6 kids and loves being a mom, and I'm childfree. Same genetics and environment, so I think being CF is an individual choice, not something you're born with.Does anybody think childfree love is to disappear in the future?
    What was that person's argument, I wonder? I'm betting it's just wishful thinking. I can't think of any reason why the entire human species would spontaneously decide they all want kids if they don't already. Do you think you're going to change your mind about wanting kids? If not, then why would you expect others to?





    I'm going to give you the same advice I give everyone about dating: if you haven't found the right person yet, don't worry about it so much. Find a way to emotionally be ok with being single. More than likely, you'll find the one for you eventually. But you never know when that will happen, so until it does, just relax and enjoy the life you have. There's no reason you should have to permanently give up.
    Why wouldn't there be childfree people? If anything there are going to be more if recent trends keep up.





    A lot of people of all ages, male and female, do not want to have kids. I'm one of them, I have absolutely no desire to reproduce. Edit: I always hear I'm young and will change my mind, but no really I don't want to have kids.





    What do you mean by real women? Any age over 18 is good for dating.





    You should wait until you find someone you can love for years to come, especially before starting a family.
    There are many childless women in every age category for all kinds of reasons: some choose not to have them, some can't have them, some waiting for a couple more years so to speak to maybe start having them (?)... Somehow I do not think that this situation will change, because people like having options too much, especially when it comes to their bodies and their freedom.
    There are more and more childless people out there today. I have no idea where you are getting that it will be the other way around. I don't see that trend going the way you described but rather continuing on its present course.





    It is always best to stay single than to be with ANYONE just for the sake of not being single.
    IF you mean that sex will (once again) begin to produce children,why YES, we face the imminent end of the Petroleum Age, which was the primary driver of the ';contraceptive age';. So, yes, I do think that the sex act will once again become united with the reproductive act.
    No, it will probably in fact ';grow';. As soon as people realize what children are turning into these days, they aren't going to want to add to the chaos. So take heart, you'll find one who feels just like you do.
    They believe there is a parent' gene which encourages or discourages people to have kids, so the 'non-parent' gene people will die out. But I don't buy it - no-one inherits childlessness from their parents! There will always be childless people :-)
    As long as this planet hold life there will be all kinds living here; those who want kids and those who don't. What is best is that person does what is best for them; above all to never mind what others have to say.
    Not everyone likes children. Not everyone likes licorice either.
    There will always be childless people of all ages. Some people just don't want children.
    I'd say it's best to be single if you haven't found ';that one.';





    As far as child bearing goes, if feminism has it's way, we will cease to reproduce.

    What made you decide to be permanently childfree?

    Permantently: as in *never* having children. No lectures please. What made you decide to be permanently childfree?
    Money and time!What made you decide to be permanently childfree?
    I was having too many problems with my reproductive system that my doctor recommended that I have a complete hysterectomy. He said that any pregnancy would be high risk because of my Diabetes and other medical problems plus he found an unusual anatomical anomaly that would also make it very difficult to have babies. As a teenager I really wanted to have children, but that just wasn't meant to be I guess.
    1. The world is overpopulated, and one more person would require a great deal of resources. On top of that, the world isn't headed anywhere nice, it seems.





    2. I don't want to mess a kid up with my biases or give it any defective genes I carry around. Also, the kid can't choose whether or not it wants to live. Why chance having a kid who hates life and is afraid to die?





    3. There are too many kids already here who need a home to be selfish enough to have my own. People should adopt the starving, emotionally deprived kids instead.





    4. I don't want to go through the pain, and I don't want to permanently alter my body for the worse. I have seen the mental and physical effects of childbirth on women.





    5. I don't want to drain my bank account. Kids take a lot of money, and it's not fair to bring one into the world without the required financial resources.
    I really never decided it. I just wasted a lot of years with someone who would not commit and then when I finally got married, it just never worked out. I was 34 (almost 35) when we married and... well... it just didn't work out is all I can say. Sometimes I wish I had kids. But sometimes I'm glad I don't.
    there are a lot of diseases and health issues that have been passed down heredically for a while. I don't want to continue the cycle. I'd want to give my child the best not health problems and grief...
    Seeing all the little brats running around in my neighborhood. I wouldn't want my children to grow up with influences like that.
    Just thinking about what could possibly happen to them, i cant go through the stress and lack of sleep thinking and hoping nothing bad happens to my child
    Minuscule penis.OK.
    Married to a childhood diabetic.
    My age
    Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.
    The memories of me growing up.............
    It just never happened....
    Seeing kids as they really are...
    siblings
    Im not...%
    Oops!! I have had 2!!! I Love them!!!!
    how me and my brother act and how my parents have to deal with us





    that and how pets listen to you more
    My crushed gonads.
    I just don't like them and I could NEVER see myself with one, EVER!
    I love sex with many women too much too waste life on children. Plus my big lab dog is all the companion I need. That and a hot blonde under my sheets! plus the world is too f*cked up to bring children into it. I'm not a monster. Look at the economy. My children will have no chance of making it.
    Im not i have 3 kids
    nothing, kids are your legacy

    How old is the oldest person you know who is childfree?

    And if he/she is childfree, is he/she married or not? Could be anyone you know.





    I asking this question to see how common it is for older adults to stay childfree.How old is the oldest person you know who is childfree?
    A yogi who's 2...... well see for yourself....





    http://www.amazingabilities.com/amaze7a.鈥?/a>





    ^^^ Have a glass of water prepared before you click on this.A 100000$ bet, this is the first time you are seeing something like this.How old is the oldest person you know who is childfree?
    I am 43 single and child-free because I had a vasectomy at 21. My current girlfriend has adult children.





    I know several couples that are in their late 50's, and early 60's who are married and child-free.





    I know a woman, former girlfriend that had her tubes tied at about 30. She is still child-free, and divorced at 56.





    Another former girlfriend is 38, divorced, and child-free. She had her tubes tied at 25.
    My husbands uncle, 94 years old no kids and he was married until his wife passed away a couple of years ago.





    In total I know 8 married people over the age of 40 that has no kids and a couple more that's younger but that might still change.
    I have two aunts who are childfree--one is in her 70's and one in her late 60's. Neither are married.


    I'm 50 and childfree. Not married but have been living with someone for 7 years now.
    I have an uncle who just recently passed away, he was 82 and didn't have any children. And he never married either. Both just weren't for him
    My boss is 56 and doesn't have kids. She is married and she does not regret not having kids and told me that i should follow the same path because we are both alike.
    My best friend's grandpa's brother (whatever that is), he is 90 and never married or had kids.
    I have an uncle who's about 48 with no children. Not common by a long shot.
    My aunt she never married or had kids she's in her 70s

    Why do people say that the childfree are selfish ?

    I don't get why people say that those who don't have kids are selfish for not having them. What is so selfish about it? It just seems like a choice to me and we shouldn't force kids on people that don't want it.Why do people say that the childfree are selfish ?
    they don't say everyone who doesn't have a child is selfish, only the rich because they could pay for all the child's costs. I agree, it's a choice and who knows, maybe that person would be a really bad parent and where would that kid be then? I think those people just believe that since rich have so much more money, they should apparently be the ones having kids so the kid will have a good life but that's not always true so next time you hear someone say that, just ask them why they think that, they probably most likely have no real back up except ';they can pay for one'; and that they've heard a lot of other people say it's true.Why do people say that the childfree are selfish ?
    Who cares what they say? People always need to feel morally superior to others so naturally they will say that people who do not have children are selfish (and some people who don't have kids think/say that people who do are self-righteous and lacking in environmental consciousness). Whatever the case, people who do not have children have as much right to be respected for their choice(s) as those who do.
    That's stupid. I think people that say that are just jealous because people without kids can jump up and do whatever they want, whenever they want. Besides, if someone doesn't want kids, then they definitely shouldn't have them because they would just resent the child, and that's messed up for the kid to grow up feeling unwanted. To each their own.





    I have two kids and love them, but sometimes I definitely envy those that can leave the house without getting a babysitter. But I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.
    It's just a common assumption, sometimes accurate, sometimes not. It's certainly not universally true. They may be jealous. Having children ties you up a lot, along with a lot of your time. They cost money, etc. I think not having children is a choice, and for some a wise one. Especially for gals who do not have a strong mothering tendency.
    It doesn't matter what ';society'; says. If you don't want kids, then don't. It's better having and WANTING kids than having them and NOT wanting them.





    It can be look at as selfish because you aren't caring for others. It could be money - some people just can't afford to raise a child. It is VERY expensive at times! I know first hand with my son.





    I think people are better off with no kids until they CAN afford to have them and can take responsibility for the choices as well.
    Some say things along the lines of not wanting to sacrifice, not being willing to deal with such a burden, etc.





    It IS nutty to criticize such a decision; isn't it best for those who don't WANT kids to not have them?





    I think what's really going on is that people who don't feel that way, but want kids, simply don't understand it, find it repulsive, and so find reasons to attack.
    There's nothing selfish about not having kids. It is most likely based off of jealousy and regret. Jealousy of your ability to be free spirited and do what you want and regret over lost opportunities to be had when child-free.
    it is your duty to society to create some young people to keep social security from collapsing.

    Saturday, December 26, 2009

    Is it shallow or wrong for childfree people to avoid dating parents?

    If you don't want kids of your own, why would you want to deal with someone else's? On the other hand, could you be missing out on a really great guy/girl by limiting yourself to other childfree people only?





    If you are childfree, would you date a parent? If you're a parent, would you date a childfree person? And why the heck is Y!A trying to put this in GLBT?Is it shallow or wrong for childfree people to avoid dating parents?
    If you are willing to build a relationship with someone who has children that is great. But honestly, not everyone is cut out to be a parent and/or a step-parent. Knowing that about yourself might limit your prespective partner pool but it will also save you, your perspective partner, and any children involved a whole lot of unhappiness in the long run.





    I truly believe that it is possible for those who are childless to make awesome step-parents but it isn't for everyone. My husband was childless but not through choice, he had lost two children to stillbirth in his previous marriage. He wanted to be a parent but couldn't. He has been a great dad to my kids who were in desperate need of a strong male role model. I also think it helped that he came from a very large family. But we were cautious when we first started building our relationship, took things slowly, communicated about the situation often.





    Finally, knowing ones likes and dislikes, being self-aware about what one can and cannot handle in a relationship is not in any way shallow or wrong. If anything it is a wise way to proceed. Oh and it seems that YA likes to put anyting to do with unconcrete relationships in the LGBT section!Is it shallow or wrong for childfree people to avoid dating parents?
    Many childless people do limit themselves when they insist on dating people without children. That becomes more apparent as they get older. Most older adults have children but the children themselves are likely to be older so they don't have to be cared for. Besides, by limiting themselves this way, childless people are more likely to encounter those who might not be employed and are still be living with their parents or they might be some really strange individuals that most people wouldn't want to date to begin with.
    There is nothing wrong with dating only men who are childfree. However there are great fathers who would make wonderful boyfriends/husbands so you do limit yourself when you only date childfree men.





    I think it is best to take things on a case by case basis. If the man has two children who are 20 and 24 would you refuse to date him? His children obviously do not need the time and attention children under 18 would need. Men with children are not all the same and some have children who would not need you to be a mother figure in their lives so why would you rule out dating this man?





    Just because a man has children that does not automatically mean you will have to take care of them. Allow yourself to be open to men who do and do not have children. So many times the best partner is found where we least expect it.
    I don't think it is wrong.





    As far as the child is concerned, I think it's exactly the right move.





    No child should have to be subjected to rejection from a person their parent is dating. (I'm not talking about intentional cruelty toward a child. Just the vibe that they would get knowing that they are not part of the relationship process would be rejection enough without it being personal. But a child can not differentiate between ';it's not you, it's any %26amp; all children'; I'm not ready to parent yet.)





    I say if you know what you want, or in this case don't want, then it works out best for all concerned to stick to your preferences.





    Yes, you can miss out on a great mate, but they will be other great, childless people to chose from.





    When I was an older yet still teen, I dated a man with a 6 y.o. son. He was a great boy to be around. We had fun as he was included in all of the dinner %26amp; movie dates. But I also knew that I was too young to be a parent model %26amp; I did not think it fair to make this little boy think I was going to be his new Mommy. So his father %26amp; I decided it was best to end our relationship sooner rather than later. For the child's sake.





    Now that I am a parent, I know that I could date a man with a child or children as long as we shared like parenting views.
    Is it shallow? Maybe yes or no.


    Is it wrong? No.


    Are such eliminating options? Yes.


    Should they be doing so? Personal choice. Only some people have to reproduce. Only some people have to have and raise children. The entire population does not have to participate to continue the human species.





    It's about personal choices. I know a young man who dated and married a woman past her reproductive years because he did not want children. Ironically he had grown step-children and step-grandchildren. But as the saying goes, you can send the grandchildren back to the parents. He loved them, but he didn't want to raise them.





    I would have dated a parent. Were I not married, I would date a child-free person. I would learn their intentions regarding children before furthering the relationship. That's only fair in any relationship.
    no there is nothing wrong with that if that is what you truly want out of life.....but if you do date a person with children make sure that that person is fully aware that you are dating them and not their children.......many women make the mistake that if they date a childless man then HE MUST also like her kids and make them apart of his life and to me that is not true, can say it been married 4 times, and if they do marry a childless person they marry each other not the children for they have their own parents......no where in any wedding vows have i ever heard I DO TAKE YOU AS MY SPOUSE AND YOUR CHILDREN AS MINE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE THEIR OWN PARENTS.....think about it
    Asking this question is like asking if it's shallow or wrong for people who, say, hate hunting to avoid dating hunters.





    They have a quality you aren't interested in. There's nothing wrong with avoiding that.
    I would absolutely not date a parent. It's better for both parties in the end, since if you're not on the same page about having kids, it'll always be a contentious issue.
    No, I don't think iit's selfish or shallow to avoid children.





    I'm childfree, but I would date someone w/children.
    I have always said single mothers should date single fathers. I don't have children and I wouldn't date a single mother.
    It seems to me quite sensible to avoid going out with someone with children if you don't like them.
    No. We didnt want our own children, so why should we put up with someone elses?
    Not really...








    BD
    Nope
    I don't think it's shallow but I do think it's closed minded.





    I confess that I deliberately shied away from any woman that had kids. I didn't want the burden (or what I perceived as one) of having to deal with more than one person in a relationship that way. I would think that I don't want to be part of an ';instant family'; and I'd also be concerned about the rejection a kid would feel their mother %26amp; I broke up.





    But then I met my current girlfriend. She has THREE kids. Yeah! I know. THREE! I was very scared about meeting them but here are some things my gf said that really helped.


    1) They have a good dad so I don't need to do that.


    2) The father and I have met before and we get along pretty well. He even told my gf that I'd be good for her before we started dating! Wow, that was a HUGE relief.


    3) She's a great mom.


    4) Her kids are a bit older (8, 9 %26amp; 14) and they're beautiful! All of them are girls and they think I'm great. They're really smart and all of them yelled, did hand pumping in the air, and giggled when I confirmed that I was their mom's boyfriend. It was so amazing to see!


    5) As long as I'm conscientious about them then things tend to work out fine. Meaning, communicate and be respectful that I'm not trying to muscle into their life and that I appreciate them letting me be involved (such as for movie nights, dinners, etc.).





    So also, I don't worry about her having to spend time with her family because then I get to work on my own stuff or do my own thing. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you're joined at the hip.





    I do agree with one of the other posters here that it's a case by case basis. It takes the right situation and some good communication to be in place for it to work. But when you think about it, aren't good relationships built on good communication?





    Dating a parent may not be for everyone but I haven't lost any of my independence (I don't have children) in any capacity.





    I don't want kids of my own but I don't get involved in the parenting of my gf's kids because really it's not my place.





    Lastly, it just allows me to appreciate the time I get alone with my gf.
  • philosophy
  • Why do some people think Childfree people will never experience unconditional love?

    I've read about this on yahoo answers and heard people talking about this in waking life and I don't get it. Most people get unconditional love from their loved ones. So why do some people say childfree people don't experience it?Why do some people think Childfree people will never experience unconditional love?
    Imagine that love is the base need for every living creature.





    So, naturally, you can love anything from rocks to people, and from dogs to children. They all need love, and then love will come back to you, after you give it.





    So, when some people say a thing like ';unconditioned bla bla can be experienced only by those with children like US'; they only say that they themselves cannot love unless they have a baby, a personal baby of their own.





    Kind of limited state of being. In which passesiveness plays a key role. Not quite loving if you see it this way.





    I don't say the parent-child relationship it's not special.





    But the base of that relationship is the base, or should be the base of every other relationship. No discrimination here. Because love has to circulate and needs to circulate.





    Hope I helped.Why do some people think Childfree people will never experience unconditional love?
    People are always willing to say they are right and you are wrong. They will always have some pious excuse to justify their procreation. My friend never shuts up about it. He insists that having children was his goal in life, and the best thing he ever did. He seldom mentions the fact that all three of his sons have dropped out of school. He also seldom mentions that he has an injunction against his 20 year old son who tried to murder him.





    Unconditional love has nothing to do with it. Just wait and see if any of them are preaching unconditional love after they get old and their children abandon them.





    If you have a chance, check this out:





    http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/sto鈥?/a>
    Because they're clueless. : ) The only creatures capable of unconditional love, IMO, are animals. Children sure don't love you unconditionally.
    This is true. A person can understand a thing better if he had experienced it. Rest you can watch at :





    http://www.love2arrange.com
    They think unconditional love means getting urinated on.

    How can I meet other childfree people in London?

    Hubby %26amp; I are childfree by choice and while we love our ';expecting'; friends it'd be also lovely to meet other people in London who are childfree. Does anyone here know of any groups etc? Thanks! (Again I know this is not only for dining, sigh! They need to add more regional categories!How can I meet other childfree people in London?
    Wow... Firecat, it must be one hell of a laugh being one of your kids you hormonal old HAG!!!


    I'm a mother, but not everyone wants kids you know (makes your T!Ts sag and tummy wrinkly)


    You, FIRECAT, are one of the reasons this poor lady wants to find childless couples!


    A good place for meeting people and ';touting'; yourself is http://london.fridaycities.com


    Lots of people organise activities and events and post themon here, go and have a look





    Actually, I've just realised that Friday cities is an invite only site. I'll invite you enter this code when asked: jb904e5mtfv7How can I meet other childfree people in London?
    Hi, These websites are very nice allright. I just came across another one which is aiming to create childfree events and meetings: bigkidsnokids.com


    It 's a nice well thought brand new website, you should try it and ask them about potential meetings in London or somewhere else...


    Sinead

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    ;o)

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    The question seems perfectly civil and genuine to me.The firecat answer seems to reinforce the attitude that not loving kids crying in theatres,buggies taking up all the room in shops and on transport, wanting to have a meal without some kid squealing and throwing food about the place, makes you some kind of monster


    I agree it would be nice to be able to go to places where other peoples children aren't forced down your throat either in conversation or in person and you're not considered a weirdo for just thinking its that bit more interesting to talk to adults about adult topics.
    i dont know of any groups for childless couples look on the net
    go online.... loads of Londoners are doing it and there is noooooooooo shame in scouting before you embark! My friend Jo joined Speedating.com (check spelling it might be 2 d's) and she is now shacked up with a nice bloke..... I am sure they will say if they have kids or not!





    By the way, it's also okay not to want any. The world has enough people in it!
    Have you heard of the British Childfree Association, Kidding Aside?
    go to the childfree bar down on main street
    Is there a local chapter of No Kidding near you?
    Firstly let me apologise for being a second-class citizen and social leper as I have children.


    Secondly let me congratulate and thank-you on behalf of your non-existant children and ask you to remain 'childfree by choice'..


    Childfree by choice?


    Want to meet other 'Childfree by choice' couples?


    No doubt your career is more important than children? ok, thats fine.


    thats your choice of the way you want to be.


    BUT, to say 'while we love our ';expecting'; friends it'd be also lovely to meet other people in London who are childfree'


    Having children isn't a disease, it also doesn't make YOU better.


    Your condescending attitude offends me and hopefully most other parents.


    While you may be CHILDFREE BY CHOICE, you will not have the intense pleasure and privelege of becoming a parent.


    To hold your son or daughter in your arms in the first few moments of their independant life. I live for my children and love them more than anything, I would lay down my life for them in an instant.


    I had hoped that a majority of snobbery was gone but if theres people like you around its obviously still here.


    With a little luck, you wont be able to find any 'childfree by choice' people around, and wont go out for an evening contaminating the environment with your holier than thou attitude and obvious scorn for us 'PARENTS BY CHOICE'!

    Why are people adopting childfree lifestyle these days?

    More and more people seem to be following this selfish lifestyle. Why? It must make God so sad and angry. Is this the reason why God sends earthquakes, tsunamis, recession, swine flu etc?Why are people adopting childfree lifestyle these days?
    Well we are screeching up on 7 billion people on Earth %26amp; since it doesn't look like we'll be getting bumped of the top of the food chain any time soon; I guess we don't need every family to have a dozen kids.





    Besides more people are waiting until after they finish school %26amp; become established in a career before having a family, so they can support them properly, which puts them in their mid-late thirties, which is when fertility begins dropping off and the stress from jobs, relationships, money, %26amp; infertility only makes it harder to get pregnant.





    Personally I feel like I could be a good parent, but I love my kids too much to have them. I wouldn't want to bring a kid into this world full hate %26amp; ugliness. As far selfishness goes, what could be more selfish than dragging around a bunch of carbon copies of yourself waiting for someone to tell you how cute they are. I don't believe in any god, but even if I did, I'd still just think that natural disasters sucked.Why are people adopting childfree lifestyle these days?
    No, because earthquakes are caused by shifts in the earth's crust, tsunamis are caused by storms in the ocean, recessions are caused by lots of stupid economic decisions, and swine flu is a virus.





    Do you really think the last time you got a cold it was because God hates you? There are perfectly reasonable explanations for everything you listed that do not involve a pissed off omnipotent being.
    yoru god, the allloving god, is 2angry'; beacuse we are having less sex?


    thats not what yoru religion tells soceity





    we donthave kids as i think it smuch mroe selfish to have them, bring them into this horrific world and life, with a lot of pain and suffering, for them and us, and everyone else, then to watch all the love die and then they themselves die





    also, im not ready to have kids, which i have been lead to beleive by your religion is the most sensible thing to do, wait till your married and ready and can provide and care for your family


    are you sayign thats all changed now?


    i shoudl go out have ltos of kids, no marrige, just sex and kids, and let them run riot and live how they want, and me, not able to care for them properly?


    yoru saying i shoudl do that?
    Yes there are already too many people on the earth..... god said fill the earth.... well.. it's already over full. So unless he makes another planet for more people to live on... or kills a lot of the people on this one.... no kids for me... Perhaps I am selfish and when god mentions being good stewards of the earth... he really meant to put so many people on earth that it can no longer support any life..
    Would you prefer that people who aren't suited to be parents have children anyway or that the population grow faster than the worlds resources can handle? In the next couple of years the worlds population will top 7 billion. Someone is having kids.
    Because freedom means choice; and people are allowed to choose whether to procreate or not. Besides, why overpopulate the world more than it is already?


    Also, God doesn't ';send recessions';. Economics FAIL.
    so it is selfish not to have kids but it is not selfish expecting a dead man to cover your screw ups in life i am a parent and even i agree that the world needs to cut down on having kids for a few years.
    What?! There have always been people who don't have kids....they have historically been monks, priests or nuns though. That's all. It's not selfish to not want kids, as long as you're not murdering them to not have any.
    Because they are responsible people who have a conscious. This world is unable to sustain this many people.





    Do you know a child dies of starvation every six minutes. Who's the one being selfish?
    Because they realize that what the world needs is less people, not more. They are not being selfish at all in fact they are being very rational and logical in their decision.
    Because overpopulation is a major issue in the world today.
    I have no problem with people who choose not to have children. The pastor of my church is celibate.
    God does want people to have children, but He I don't think He punishes people for it.
    As I parent myself, even I question your sanity.
    2 reasons i think selfishness is one definitely and the fear to bring kids into such a broken world! Its quit sad really how bad things are really getting. The kidnappings, rape, drugs, sexual abuse physical and mental abuse...it took me many years before i became a christian and i know the life before and after I can tell you and anybody in this world the after is SO much better! Thank God for his forgiveness and grace! There are consequences for all our actions..

    Who thinks a childfree lifestyle would be very lonely?

    Also if you have/had decided to remain childfree what makes you sure about your decision? Who thinks a childfree lifestyle would be very lonely?
    Not everyone is wired to have kids, or even to be interested in kids. We don't wish them ill, the fact is we just aren't interested. I always knew I didn't want kids, the same way I don't want a dog or a boat. Nothing wrong with either, they're just not for me.





    This is the part of the conversation where people say, ';You can't compare a baby to a dog or a boat!'; Yeah, I can, because they all have the same desirability factor for me. (Note: FOR ME being the operative words.) We're glad those little fingers and first noises make you all gooey inside--everyone should be happy with the results of their choices in life--but it's just not for us.





    My life is full, I have a loving husband and plenty of friends to hang out with and things to do and am living my life the way I want to. Why would you assume CF automatically equals lonely? (Although I think many CF are more content with their own company than the average person is.) I think a lot of people see us like Miss Havisham from the book Great Expectations, pining away behind heavy drapes in a dusty room and cursing the world. It ain't so. We just choose to devote our lives to something other than procreation.Who thinks a childfree lifestyle would be very lonely?
    Wow, I wish I could be like you (best answer). I wish I was as happy with live as you are with yours. Many times I feel like giving up and ending it all. And sometimes I envy what people have, which isn't really a good thing and I shouldn't be doing it! I don't want kids either but I see all these

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    people in their late teens and early twenties (I'm in my late) having kids and I'am feeling like ';did I miss something?'; why would they want kids?!

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    Im 29 married for 4 years and Im childfree. Were not lonely infact were very happy, fulfilled, successful in our careers. Less worries.

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    My childfree life has never been lonely, and I'm in my late 40's now. I have friends, a significant other, family, a social life, pets, and I'm far from lonely.


    What makes me sure about my decision? Things like going to Wal-Mart on a Saturday. : )


    The thought of being a parent gives me extreme anxiety and always has.





    Added: No one needs kids to experience ';unquestioning love'; or to have done something in their life that mattered. I'll also never have any of the many, many drawbacks of having children.
    I'm a 54 year old, childfree woman. I knew when I was 8 that I didn't want children. I have never regretted my decision.





    When I was young, I never knew people had children on purpose. I thought pregnancy was a consequence of unprotected sex. When my friends started having babies (on purpose) I was stunned. I couldn't imagine wanting to be saddled with a child. I'm still surprised when people plan babies.





    I was married for a short time (I got married to have fun, not to have kids), so that would have been the ideal situation to have kids, but we never tried.





    I am in no way lonely. You should know that I'm also an only child, so there are no siblings, nieces or nephews in my life. I have two god-daughters that I think are OK, but I rarely see them. I just have no interest in children. It is what it is, but I'm great with it!
    Not everyone is cut out to be a surgeon or a teacher. Furthermore, not everyone is meant to be a parent. I have all the respect in the world for those who do because it seems like the hardest task on earth.





    As for me, I am far too busy with family obligations, friends, work, exercise, and hobbies. I am never lonely and in fact I feel the opposite, that I don't have enough ';me time';.





    I certainly don't worry about growing old and lonely. I am VERY good to my 10 nieces and nephews.
    For me personally: I would hate to be childfree, I wouldn't chose it. But that's because I love and adore kids and being a mother. Childfree = Lonely? Maybe sometimes. But even being a parent can be lonely at some stages. You feel lonely when you are stuck in the house exhausted looking after toddlers. You feel lonely the day your youngest child moves out of home. Loneliness is a normal human emotion and we can't completely avoid it by having children.





    If it was my fate to be ''childless'' then I would try to find other ways to be happy and live a rewarding life.





    For other people: I think it is good to have a choice. In the old days you had to get married and have kids, or you were a freak to be pitied. These days there are many ways to fill your life and if people prefer no kids, I wish them well. I don't think they are selfish, one of my best school teachers had no children and she was a wonderful, fun and giving woman. Was she lonely? I doubt it, she touched so many lives.





    The only thing I don't like about ''childfree'' is the tiny minority who are aggressive and hate parents and kids. Pathetic human beings really, I feel so sorry for their parents. I think they are just a few oddballs on the internet though. Hopefully not a growing trend.





    '
    i don't have any kids till now and i'm 25. i don't wish to have any for the time being, i feel ok this way and i wouldn't want any right now and not for some time now.


    i'm not sure if this will remain this way. i'm not sure if i'll change or not. and i don't know how i will feel like or become in the future, with the passage of time.


    i haven't even met yet the man i wish to marry.
    That is why you have brothers and sisters so they can have the kids then you can love the kids and then give back, sort of like a loan.





    When you die you will die rich and your nieces and nephews will be your beneficiaries.......everyones a winner!
    I would go nuts if I didn't have my kids or my grandkids for that matter couldn't imagine life with out them.
    Media pundits (including loud spoken special interest groups) are inexorably pushing how 'great' it is to live life without kids cluttering things up. You can come home to a totally clean house, eat dinner without arguments, and never, ever worry about Grandma's vase getting broken. They enforce their message with little nudges about how not having kids with constant stories of population overgrowth, %26amp; the high cost of raising kids (currently they claim one will spend over 200,000.00 to raise a child from birth to 21 - not counting the optional car at graduation).





    What they fail to add is you also never have that indescribably wonderful warm feeling when you look down at that little bundle squirming in your arms and realize you've just helped bring a life into this world.





    Childless adults never receive the unquestioning love a child gives: love that overlooks every fault a person can have, love that erases all the rotten things that happen when they come running up to you, do one of those awesome leaps into your arms, wrap their legs and arms around you and joyously proclaim ';Mommy/Daddy, I wuv YOU!'; .





    You don't have bragging rights and you'll never feel that flush of pride when your son/daughter's work takes first/second/no particular prize, or any of the thousand and one accomplishments they'll have that couldn't take place without you giving up a few lousy material things like that second vacation in the islands.





    Then there is that day when they announce they've found their life-mate, and you remember your own blissful young love.





    In your old age, there is the comfort of your child - now grown into middle age- being there to tell you of their day, to ask your advice, to bring their kids to see their gram/gramps....





    and finally, when your time on this earth is come to a close, you can look back down the path of life and know that at least one thing you did really mattered.





    We lost four children at a young age, and had one son (now married to a wonderful woman), and adopted a special needs son who sucked up huge amounts of time and money, and we wouldn't trade a single second for the love we got from my boys. We never had a clean house, and we ran our cars into the ground. We've never had a vacation anywhere, and our closets have just the basics....and we feel like the richest people in the world.

    What are the benefits of choosing a childfree life?

    What are the disadvantages of choosing not to have children at all?


    Who has chosen not to have children and what makes you sure about your decision?What are the benefits of choosing a childfree life?
    There are no tangible disadvantages at all.





    Having children is not worth the risk. Being a parent it the most critical job in the world. If you had shaking hands, or any doubt bout your competence you would never consider a job with the 鈥榖omb-squad鈥?would you? Well, if you have the slightest doubt in the world, you should never consider having children.





    Think about it鈥? Is it not 1000x better to regret not having children than to regret having them? Of course it is. Why bother to take the risk having them? I know a lot of people that regret having children, but I don't know anyone who regrets not having them.





    What are the advantages to not having children? That is easy:





    I can go to bed, or sleep in when I want, and get 8 hours in.


    I am 42, and frequently mistaken for a man in his early 30鈥檚.


    I can swim in my private pool nude, anytime I like.


    I can have sex with no interruptions.


    I take at least three vacations a year.


    I own a Rolex.


    I have many stamps in my passport.


    I own many breakable things that are not broken.


    I have never touched a diaper in my whole life.


    Nobody has ever thrown up on me.


    I don鈥檛 pay anyone child support!


    I don鈥檛 pay anyone child support!!


    I DON鈥橳 PAY ANYONE CHILD SUPPORT!!!What are the benefits of choosing a childfree life?
    What disadvantages? Your earnings go further, your hair does not go prematurely grey or fall out so quickly and your sanity stays intact. ;-)





    Seriously,you can dedicate more time to good causes, to learning and you have more time for giving back to society. You can uproot and go adventuring anytime with out concern for the effects your decisions may have on children.


    Not everyone is suited to parenting and some people are unable to have children. As long as your life has purpose and you have direction you can make a difference to the world without following a traditional life style.
    Benefits-


    You would always have your freedom and Independence to do and go where you like - when you like





    Financially it would be less stress full - you could do what you like with your disposable income





    You don't have the huge responsibility of bringing up a child





    Disadvantages -


    You're not carrying on your family name/gene pool





    You won't have the experience of mother/fatherhood





    You won't have children to take care of you when you get elderly





    There is a stronger chance of being alone throughout your life








    I hope to have children in the future - but would like to experience more before I do - and I plan to marry first.



    The only major disadvantage I can think of is that people always seem to think it's their business whether or not other people (often total strangers!) have kids, how many they have, how far apart they have them, what they feed the kids, where they send the kids to school, etc. Childfree folks avoid some of those criticisms, of course, but we also get hit with a lot of crazy thinks parents avoid, such as:





    - Who will care for you when you're old? (Because children always take care of their parents, right?)


    - You're selfish (I have yet to see how it's more selfish to use my resources for myself than to bring another life into the world just because I want to)


    - What if your genes/family name die with you (Again, I have yet to see proof that my genes/family name are so special that the world would be worse off if I didn't pass them on)


    - It's unnatural (Lots of things are unnatural, that doesn't automatically make them bad or wrong)


    - You'll never know real love until you know the love of a child (So...my love for my parents, my relatives, and my friends isn't real?)





    But in the end I think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages and they include everything from the very personal (like having the time, energy, and resources to devote to other dreams and goals) to things that benefit everyone (like not contributing to overpopulation).
    It's not compulsory to have children! The advantage is that you have no liabilities, your money is your own, and you can at a drop of a hat go where you want, including travelling the world.





    Just wanting children is not enough, you have to be responsible, and think of their needs before you can make decisions. Some people just do not have that yearning.





    The rewards are of course, the love and trust they give you, hugs and smiles, and the things they are learning all the time, and just the simple pleasure of a walk in the woods or building a sandcastle.





    You will not be wrong whichever you choose, and it is no-ones business.
    Hi





    Well, first of all. The person making the decision is YOU. So you have all the right in the world to decide if you want children or not. This is coming from a mum with two kids here.





    Having children is a HUGE responsibility. No-one can fathome this out until they have kids of their own to realise it. I love my kids but sometimes I often think back to when I didnt have kids and think about all the freedom I had - truthfully I miss it.


    I often think how will my kids be when they grow up and how worse the world will have become by then - global warming - superficial attitudes of society - crime - violence - over population - global financial meltdown etc. It scares me to think why did I bring my children into this world.





    You have every right to decide not to have kids. I think one disadvantage would be the number of narrow-minded people asking you 'why are you not having kids?!'





    Whatever you choose, keep your head high and make sure people give you the respect you deserve.



    There are no disadvantages of not having children, for those of us who don't want them. For all the people who blather on about children being ';a gift,'; something is only a gift if you want it. If you don't want it, it's just a tiresome obligation! And what kind of person would want a child to suffer through parents who thought the child was tiresome and an obligation?





    If kids don't fit in with your life plan, don't sweat it. Chase your dreams and be happy. If you're undecided about having kids, think about it. A lot. That's one of the things that makes a person a good parent, if they decide to become one. Lots of people just have kids because ';that's what you do!'; Societal pressure can be really strong, but take your time to think about the pros and cons and what you really want out of life. Don't let people bully you into having kids before you're ready, or at all, if you decide you don't want them.





    I knew from my earliest memories that I didn't want children. Some people know the opposite, that they want a family, from *their* earliest memories. Most people fall somewhere in the middle, I think. But for me I knew I wanted to have a good job and see the world, do interesting things. I've gotten my wish, but I worked for it too. I could never have done half the things I've done if I had to tote around or worry about kids.
    you obviously don't want them at this time of your life or you would not even be asking the question! you will know when you are possitive about this- it will just happen, too many people question things in relationships, just live your life and wait!
    I have found no disadvantages...what make me sure? ...my childfree vasectomy makes me positively sure...
    There are no disadvantages. The main advantage is freedom.
    you will have more money, not as many responsibility's and no mid life crisis when they grow up and hate you
    Freedom is the main benefit. And you get more sleep at night..
    im glad ill always have people there for me and i wont be lonely
    I suppose it depends on how much you want to share your life. I would find life without children very insular, but I fully understand those who choose not to have them. They are hard work. For me the rewards are tenfold and at the end of it all part of you carries on and will remember all those good times you shared. Lets be honest. Having children is all about love and sharing. If you look at elderly people who have no children you sometimes see regret and loneliness.


    The big pluses are more time and more money, less worry and more 'freedom'.
    not having to share xmas, birthdays playing in the park,and all the other fun stuff you dont want to do with kids! sorry but its not natural denying yourself kids its what lifes all about! i dont think anything that could be identifyed as a benefit would have any real substance.
    i guess u free yourself from responsiblity





    but nothing can replace the lack of a family its such an important part of life
    benefits, freedom (selfishness). disadvantage, fruitless
    without children you miss out on a lot of love and loads of fun