Saturday, January 23, 2010

Can you decide to become childfree when you're a teen?

I'm 16 and I feel like making this decision because, frankly, it looks like I'll lead a lonely life by myself. Plus, I wouldn't want to be a burden to my kids by my emotional standards in the future so yeah. I have too many dreams and goals to pursue, and I somehow feel that having a kid would destroy those dreams and goals that I would have. I mean, I can be responsible enough to raise one, it's just that I don't feel that I should put my life on hold for a child.





And besides, I've already the true love of my life and I feel that I'll never find anybody like him. I've built a future for us and I reserved the idea of having kids just for us, but since it's never happening, I'm now abandoning the possibility of me having kids ever again until at least we have a chance together again.





So is this right if you decide to make this decision early? If so, then I'm glad for it.Can you decide to become childfree when you're a teen?
It is perfectly ok to decide that at your age. You may change your mind later, or you may not. It's all up to you. I've known I didn't want kids since I was a teen, and now I'm a happily married, happily child-free 33 year old who plans on keeping it that way!Can you decide to become childfree when you're a teen?
I knew as a teenager that I didn't want kids for no other reason than I didn't want kids. It was just a feeling I had. Some say it is selfish not to have kids but it can be just as selfish for people to have them when they can't afford them of they don't have the skills to bring them up properly. Good luck with your choice.
Absolutely decide to live child-free while you are a teen. Maybe when you have developed some perspective and maturity you can re-think that decision but at least you will do everything you can NOT to have children now. :) I wish more teens would work harder NOT to have children. :)





P.S. - you win for Drama Queen of the evening.......lolol
At 16 you're still too young to make any decisions about your life later that will stick. Of course you can make this decision now and it is a good one for your age. But you will always be free to change your mind about it later in life when you are a fully matured adult.
yes, you can make the decision now. the nice thing is that it's reversible. you can change your mind later if circumstances change dramatically. unfortunately having kids isn't quite the same. it's not as easily reversible.
Surely, you jest. At 16 you have no idea what you will be doing in 5 years, much less the rest of your life. The fact that you do not currently contemplate children is all for the good. Just get on with your life and your intentions will change all by themselves.
At 16, you really shouldn't be thinking about having kids anyway. You'll probably change your mind, but it's not like anyone is going to force you to have kids if you don't.





When I was 16 I was convinced I was never going to get married or have kids because of all of my ambitions. Just 4 years later I still have all of those ambitions, and I want to get married and possibly adopt much further down the line. You'll be amazed how much your perceptions will change as you get older.
Yes. You are free to make your own decisions about this at any age. I decided when very young that I would not have children and I still feel the same although I know that most people change their mind on this issue - and that is ok too.
Yes. You can decide that.


Besides, you're only 16. You're too young to have kids.


I'm 28 and not interested in having kids neither marry.


And that is OK.
yeah.. just if you ever want to have sex make sure you use birth control and condoms intill you change your mind..





i don't have any i don't want to screw up my kids


i feel the same way as u do
God, you are only 16.
Looks like you already answered the 'stated' question yes? Then there is the Hidden question:';...until at least we have a chance together again.';


Jilted Lover? Any man who would not love your child as a part of loving you is a man your true friends would probably tell you does not really love you. Reach for your ';...dreams and goals...';. Please Do NOT believe this one guy is the only one for you. In 16 more years you will only be 32. Lots of women have children at that age. Many marriages fail because parents have not shown our children that pheromone attraction is NOT true love. If you and a guy have really really good mutual friends, they are the best judge of how you truly feel about each other. Good Luck!
Too early to make a decision like that but you may want to consider your feelings as you grow and age, and also as you fall in and out of love. You never know when you'll meet the love of your life and suppose that person wants a baseball team of offspring! What about adopting a child?


By all means accomplish your goals and dreams, there is plenty of time for you to have children. Live your life to the fullest before becoming responsible for a human being for 18+ years!
I know you don't want to hear this, but 16 is far too young to make decisions like that. You have no idea how your life will turn out, you can take steps to creating the life you want, but you never know if something will happen that will drastically change your plans. It's not like you have to have kids in the next 8 years or something. There's plenty of time. You just might feel different one day. And you never know, the perfect guy for you could come along one day. I'm in my early 20's and I too am starting to think that it's looking like I'll be leading a life by myself, but you never know what could happen. I certainly do have a feeling though that I will be having kids one day. I do want kids. I also have emotional problems, but I want to be the best mum I can be and teach my kids not to do what I've done, etc--I just hope I don't become one of those parents that want to re-live their life through their kids. And just because you have them, the first few years may be hard, but it doesn't mean your life has to completely stop. They will grow older and there'll be a day when they won't need or want you as much.
Yes. The best thing to do is to abstain from sex. Then use birth control when you decide. I don't know if you can get an operation or not but I would not do anything permanent yet because it sounds like you wanted a child. It really isn't fair to pick out your future husband just yet. I knew when I was a teen that I never wanted children at all. It wasn't due to putting my life out there for one guy and getting turned down. It was my choice on my own. I don't know your circumstances and don't need to but I would say to use protection because it sounds like you are just saying this because the guy you picked out didn't pan out.
Sure you can decide that, but you will come to realize that life has a flow that sometimes is out of your control. It's wonderful to have plans and dreams and perhaps you ultimately will never have children but you may very well find that you can maintain strong standards, accomplish many goals and still have kids.
hmmmmmm okay.....well personally as a 15 year old guy i would be scared like HELL if my girl decided that we were gonna have kids in the near future. What you should think about miss is that if you have kids to early, say in your early twenties, your limiting yourself and your guy from doing things you want to do. YOOURRRR life is not yet fully lived. Once you feel as though you have enjoyed the TREMENDOUS pleasures of life and are ready to settle down..DO IT. Im just saying dont waste your life because you WANT something. You dont want to be working shifts @ 12 because you can't yet afford your baby or kids.....I have more to say but this is what came to mind.
LOL you've built a life together. I've had girlfriends but we didn't build lives together at 16. I'm thinking, just a prediction, that you will brake up within the next five years and get married at twenty-eight and have three kids. R u high? Building a life together!hahaha, so u guys have a house and a plan and career goals. I'm only 17 but I say kids are great and I want four someday and I'm a guy. They teach u a lot of things like love that will never go away no matter what they do. You don't get get with other people. They teach you compation and soften your spirit. They give you something to live for.
Sure you can! I decided when I was about 10, and started babysitting for the only spending money I could get my hands on, that I did not want to have children. I'm now 37, and I still feel the same way.





Keep in mind that there is a chance you will change your mind (just as there is a chance I will change my mind), but in my experience in dealing with CF people, in general, the younger you are when you know this about yourself, the less likely you are to change your mind.





Don't worry about the people who tell you that you WILL change your mind when you get older. You very well might, but you very well might not, either.





EDIT: I'm curious about the thumbs down I received...what, exactly, do you disagree with? When I started babysitting, the fact that the OP or myself might change our minds, or my personal experience with people who decide young that they don't want children?
I decided that also when i was about your age. But life has an amazing way of changing the way you look at the world. As you get older, and a little wiser, you will see that the thing you thought and felt are completely different than what you thought at 16. In just 10 years (I am 26) my life is nothing like i thought it would be. I thought i would never get married, never have kids because i am a very independant type of person. I don't want anything standing in the way of my dreams. But you will see that, a lot of times, you can have your dreams without sacraficing for someone else. Although i don't have kids yet, and i HAD completely ruled out the idea, I am married and kids are possible i guess. We would never try for kids, but won't be upset if it happens either. Also, i think people who see how the world is, how messed up, and think ';I would never want to bring another life into THIS!'; are precisely the people who SHOULD be having children because they are the ones who know enough to raise a child to CHANGE the world for the better, not add to the problem. In summary, keep your dreams alive, but don't rule out kids quite yet :)

No comments:

Post a Comment