For the childfree, ever annoyed when people don't consider you a family?

I read this article in time, ';Is There Hope for the American Marriage?'; As a married, American woman I figured it pertained to me, so I read it:





http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/鈥?/a>





The ENTIRE freaking article just went on and on about how divorce and single parenthood is horrible for children. So, as long as my husband and I don't have children, we can feel free to get divorced?





I showed it to my husband, and commented that, ';It really sucks that because we have chosen to not have children, people will never see us as a real family.'; All he could say was, ';I know what you mean. Some of my co-workers who have kids also kind of treat me like I'm not really an adult because I don't have any.';





Do you also get treated like your marriage isn't real, or as though you aren't really a mature adult because you choose to remain childfree?For the childfree, ever annoyed when people don't consider you a family?
I do agree with your assement of the article.





My husband and I have been married 2 1/2 years and we have 2 dogs but, no kids. We are both still in college so we're waiting until we graduate before having kids.





I still consider us a family because we went outside of our family's and created our own family. I love my dogs like babies.





I don't think we're seen as less or not a family because most of the people we talk to know we're waiting. So, I think we maybe seen as more the ';young'; couple because of where we're at in our lives.





I think part of the problem is people say ';when are you going to start a family?';. However, believe me, if you weren't married wouldn't you be the talk of the town. It's crazy. You're being responsible and have every right to make whatever choice you want.





Yeah, I think you def have responsiblities! Here are mine: work, school, maintain a home, pay bills, take care of puppies, care for car, volunteer, take baby girl puppy to class, take both to events, do homework, spend time with family, apend time with friends, and pretty much anything else that comes up in life!








Really though I have a friend who's married and they don't want kids. I don't know why...never asked. But, she seems very happy. In fact I know another couple that's married but, don't want kids. They're happy and confident indivudals. Who am I to say they're missing something? The one couple hosts exchange students so I think that helps them give back and raise kids in their own way.





You know you're a family. :) Stay strong and remember society often takes what it finds ';best'; and ';common'; and wants everyone to do that. You do what's right for you.





Good luck!For the childfree, ever annoyed when people don't consider you a family?
NO
BS
Yes- although we just got married so I was hoping people just weren't used to us being a family yet.





Kids don't automatically make a marriage meaningful, just like they don't automatically make a person an adult. There are plenty of bad marriages out there with kids involved and plenty of parents who still behave like kids. If a couple's marriage is meaningful once they have kids, it probably was before too. The notion that kids are required for a family is as outdated as the idea that the only reason people get married is to have kids.





My husband and I are a family. We'll have kids some day and our family will grow, but it already exists.
Look, you haven't been there. Don't be all huffy. You have no idea what the difference is between a marriage with kids and a marriage without. Kids change a marriage, make it far more meaningful, stable and giving. There's no exception to that rule. You're way off.





Good luck!
If you don't have children you *don't* have your own family you have a marriage. Why does this bother you? You choose to be childless. You should be proud you have no family; it is what you choose.





I got called 'kid' at work until I was 25 and had children of my own. You are free of any real responsibility until you have children; that's why you are treated as though you're not a full adult.





From a religious stand-point, one of the principle purposes of marriage is to raise a family.





Is this really the first thing you have done in life that the world at large does not condone?


Wait until people know you are Atheist, you'll get a taste of what racism is like.





';Well, Shannon, my husband and I are not religious. And, we feel like we are a family, it's just a family of 2. Also, just because we don't have the responsibility of children, doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. We pay our bills and taxes, help our friends and family when they need it, and take very good care of our 3 cats.';





This is pretty much /why/ we regard childless people the way we do. Like paying taxes or ';taking care'; of autonomous animals is anything like the responsibility for another human life.





If you are a police chief, a field-experienced military officer, a medical officer, then you get a taste of what it is like - once you are in some way partially responsible for the life or death of another human being.





Once you have children it feels like the world changes because your perception about what is important is radically altered. Because you have no children you still regard the world as an oyster.