Saturday, January 23, 2010

Why do parents judge the childfree so much?

I've been reading answers on some childfree questions and it seems, as of 2008, parents still don't get it and probably never will understand the childfree. I dealt with that kind of harassment, which is why I have no respect for most parents.





I'm seeing ';You're young and you'll change your mind';, ';You're selfish';, ';No woman would settle down with you';.





Why do parents or would-be parents judge people, esp. if they're younger (under 30), who never want children? We're people too! What do parents have against the childfree? Is it because we see not interest in kids?








PS: No rude remarks or any remarks I've mentioned above. I'll have to block you if you do any of these offenses.Why do parents judge the childfree so much?
Because misery loves company -





Just kiddin', but seriously, I'm not one of those moms that had kids %26amp; thought everyone else should too. If you don't want to have kids, you shouldn't have them. Period. They're not picnic %26amp; walk in the park.





Don't take me wrong, I love my kids, but I'm also the 1st to admit that it's not for everyone. You're smart to be realistic %26amp; know your limits.





Ignore the haters... they're just jealous that they can't have sex without locking the door anymore! LOLWhy do parents judge the childfree so much?
I think that it's because once you become a parent (me not you lol), you can't imagine your life not being a parent. I don't think it's bad to not want children, but most parents would agree that they are pretty awesome once you have them. People may just think that to others, this would be obvious. You have your reasons I'm sure, and don't feel bad about them. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. I would just make sure that anyone you do settle down with knows how you feel before becoming serious to avoid problems later. Good luck with all
I think everyone has the right to choose if they want to be parents or not. I think it's selfish to get into a relationship with someone and not tell them you don't want kids. it's hard to be with someone who doesn't share the same life goals as you especially when it comes to kids. if you find someone who doesn't want kids and they make you happy then good luck to you.
I don't know why anyone would give people who choose not to have children a hard time. Its not for everyone to be a parent. It certainly does not make them a bad person. And definitely does not make them selfish. To each their own!
I never knew people judged people simply because they didn't have kids, sounds crazy to me that someone would do that. I don' care if people want to have kids or not, that is their business.
i try not to be judgmental. i think every person has their own reason to want or not to want children. and you really shouldn't put that person down. there are enough unwanted children in the world. why add more to the problem



They were raised differently then we were I guess, those old people. lol just kidding
The same could be said of the child-free passing judgment on those of us, particularly younger parents. Here's the truth of the matter, no matter your walk of life you are either going to have people agree with who you are and your choices in life or their not. Nothing is ever going to change that, no matter how many complaints one makes or questions as to why this is because it simply is the way it is.





Personally, I couldn't possibly ever have truly entertained the idea of not having children but could appreciate why others would choose not to. Be it poor rearing as a child and a fear you may eventually behave as your parents did or just the fact that you enjoy your freedom or (this one I find the most difficult) you simply just do not like children. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, their ideas as to what is best for them and whom they intend on spending their lives with and it is not up to others to deem them right or wrong but to just simply (I love this statement) ';agree to disagree';.
May I ask why you would spend time in a Parenting section if you don't plan on having children? What purpose do you have here?





We all chose to have children. Children bless our daily lives, they're miracles and little wonders, and they make our lives whole. If you don't want to have children, that is fine and it is your choice. Many of us parents have known people who swore up and down that they never wanted kids, my husband included, and now he cant imagine life without his children.





Why do the child-free judge parents?





If you're very offended by parents who love their kids and who enjoy being parents, again, why are you in a parenting section? I sincerely hope you're not trying to stir up controversy. That would be quite immature.
and often child free people don't understand why anyone would want kids either. Myself i could not imagine not having children but that's just me, I always wanted children. And yes i do see that some do not want children, i have many friends my age (37) who don't have children and probably never will by choice..


i also worry what comments my daughter will get when older, she's only 11yr old but when she was a newborn i found she's infertile, her ovaries have no eggs in them. she can have a child if she chooses adoption or IVF (donor eggs) but she may decide that she does not want to do either. and that's her choice to make. The sad thing is though for her she can't just ';change her mind'; or get caught unexpectedly.. a baby or child for her is a very much planned and expensive event
I have seen those comments as well and I agree. Some parents get offended about the child-free and vice-versa. I think it has to do with the fact of not understanding each others positions. Parents have kids and for them its the best thing. The childfree don't and they think its the best thing. The argument will remain with us as long as there are 2 schools of thought.





Being on the fence weither I want to have kids, I totally agree on being bingoed. What's wrong with checking out all the facts before you plunge? I love kids and all but I don't like smug parents.





There was one person that said maybe your question was put in the wrong place to start controversy. I thought about it and at the beginning I thought she was right, but then you are talking about non-parenting so it is in the right place.
I don't know what you're talking about, I've never heard, seen or said any of those comments.


I spent plenty of time child free, then I decided to get married and have kids. I have never assumed it is for everyone, I wasn't sure it was for me until I met my (now) husband.


I certainly don't think large families are for everyone, nor are single children, etc.


But I don't know any parent who has ever 'harrassed' a non-parent for lack of children. Perhaps you're over-sensitive? From your last statement you seem awfully defensive.











Who would want someone who doesn't want children, to become a parent?


that would not only make you miserable, but drag a child into your misery too! So good for you for knowing what you want, but lighten up a bit too.
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