Why do some people think childfree women are bad?

Yesterday, I asked my dad if he thinks people who never wants kids are selfish and he replied yes, for an old man.





With his way of thinking, a good woman is one who wants kids and would love their men the most. A childfree woman is no good and would only use men for sex and will not love them. This is from my dad's perspective. Does anyone believe this!?





I feel so brainwashed hearing him speak. Why do people always try to discourage the childfree with their words? Why does it seem that we have to go through so much? Does anyone really believe childfree women aren't open to relationships?Why do some people think childfree women are bad?
honestly, i'm not surprised.





i'm a happily married, childless woman and i actually get a lot of negative feedback from family, friends and strangers who frequently ask me when i'm going to have children (i'm only 24 too!). i politely say that children are not our desire and we prefer to spoil our pets. i've heard i'm selfish, i'll change my mind, i just don't know the joys of children, blah blah blah!





in the end, i remind them, it's a decision made between my husband and i and unless they would like to support or raise the child, their opinions are not necessary.Why do some people think childfree women are bad?
Critics of childfree women say that they are selfish by not wanting to have children, that having children is a great contribution to the world.


Those who are for it believe that they are doing the world a favor by not bringing a child inot a dangerous and overpopulated world.
I personally think you should be searching for a woman who has no children. Along w/ many other positive attributes. The way life was intended to be is A man and A woman marry then have children etc..... Too often it isn't that way any longer. But a good strong family is usually a Christian family who follows the bible.


It is hard being a step-parent, Dealing w/ ex lovers etc. Those issues aren't issues at all when you marry then have children and cling to your wife and remain married through it all. Then there are couples who choose to not have kids all together for what ever reason. I have family members who refuse to bring a child up in this wicked word we live in. I can certainly see there point.
LOL@ your dads thoughts...





I'm married, never had children 'by choice' and never want to. My husband feels the same way. And the truth is once women have children their husbands have to grow up and be adults because the women has real children to take care of. Most men get more attention from a women who does not have children compared to those who do. I work with several people, male and female who don't have children and have the same view points.
You don't mention an age. Maybe the woman is young and just not ready for children. Maybe she's older and chooses not to bring a child into this world which could be viewed as a very unselfish thing to do. But to say that she is unable to commit because she is childless is a ridiculous generalization.





As you said, he's an old man and you can't change his way of thinking. But you don't have to listen to him either. If you know what his views are just don't pose anymore questions to him. You're questioning his reply because you know that he isn't right.
There is nothing wrong with a woman not wanting to have children. Children are a lot of work. However the older generation do believe that women have babies and give them to the man and the man gives it back to them to raise. Think about it a sterile woman was an outcast and deemed unsuitable for marriage not so long ago.
Your dad has the right to his opinion, however wrong it may be! As a child-free woman, I can say that I don't consider myself to be selfish or a man-user, or any of the negative stereotypes he has spelled out. If keeping the family name is the only positive contribution he sees for a woman to make, it's time for him to take a second look at what today's women are all about!
Everything in this world is good or bad based on what majority of the society or cluture you live in thinks. So, from that perspective, I think it sounds a bit selfish, that you do not want to get into the responsibility of the motherhood and share a part of your life with your children.. in a way live for them.. only think about urself.. But u know I have myself seen such women changing.. when they get a little older.. and everybody expects them to b3ear a child.. they start wanting a child.. doesn't matter they want or not.. just to satisfy society!!
Having children is a choice. If a woman chooses not to have any kids how and why does that make her closed to relationships? It's funny I never even considered not having kids and I had two and they are in college...one of them though mentioned the other day that she doesn't feel like the world is a good enough place to bring more kids into. She feels adoption is the best way to go instead of bringing more into a bad place.....interesting......I never thought that way but I had my kids in the 80's and she is right it's only getting worse and worse.
Some people (BOTH men and women) don't have kids, simply because they don't. No one should have to give reasons to explanations why they don't have kids or why they don't want them. It's all a matter of personal choice. If someone knows they don't want them, more power to them for admitting it and not bringing children into the world just because 'society' drills it into their heads that marriage= babies. My husband and I don't want kids either. Our personal choice.





Your father is very out of touch on this issue. It's 2008 not 1950.
maybe i'm a little selfish, but i do not and have never desired children. i have always however dreamed of being a good wife to a good man, which i work at daily with my hubby.





he has children already so he is fine with my decision, and i know he enjoys having a wife who gives him her full attention.





i enjoy having his kids around also, but i'm happiest when i'm living life just my man and i. selfish or not.
They can be child free more reasons than just selfishness. Most women who choose to child free aren't selfish. I admire women who can lead their own life without falling into a society trap. Many women (including young women) have conditions that lead to or causes them to be infertile. They might have genetic issues that they don't wish to pass on. Maybe they had a brutal childhood and want to break they cycle. Everyone is capable of love, not just mothers. Sounds like your dad is the one with issues.
I know!! I find it so wierd how people consider women who don't have a family of their own or children to be a failure..even if they have an extrememly successful career. Its old fashioned thinking..As many people wouldn't think that of a man..


I dont get it, children just arent for everyone, and yet some people are forced into it as they think society won't accept them.


I know plenty of people who dont have children (parents friends) and they are very accomplished women. Yet some people look at them with pity?


I personally would like to have a family at one stage, but i know everyone doesnt want one, so why shoudl they? x鈾
Your father needs to broaden his thinking. My daughter doesn't want kids, she wants a career. She thought I would be disappointed that she didn't give me a grandchild. Who am I to tell her what she wants? I applaud her for wanting to better her life and spend it childless. It is her decision, and no one elses. Your father is the selfish one thinking that all women were born to birth babies and wait on a man for their entire life. For some, it is a complete waste of time.
not selfish, smart and concious yes


my sister doesnt wants kids because she thinks she wont be a good mother and she thinks she would be sort of punishing a child just by living in this world, and i have to agree with her


but she is still a very fine loving and caring person


so your daddy is wrong


go with what you feel not by what he says
So basically your dad thinks a woman's place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Tell him this is no longer the 1950's. Lots of couples (NOT JUST WOMEN) decide not to have children for varieties of different reasons. Doesn't make them better or worse than anybody else, its just what they've decided to do.
I don't agree with your dad, but his opinion is common of those who are older.





I'm childfree.and one of the nicest, most unslefish people you'll meet! I wonder sometimes if the people who aren't childree are just jealous, since our lives don't revolve around diapers and playgroups and we can have more time with our husbands doing whatever we want!
To have or not have children is a personal choice. Having an older parent they currently can not see how they could go thru life without grown children chipping in and doing all the things they 'used' to be able to do. Medical, fiancial and day to day living can fall to the responsibility of their children. Lots of old folks would not be as comfortable if their children did not take the time to provide a 'normal' life.
I totallly agree those people are selfish people! Think about it they don't want that responsibility of taking care of a baby, there thinking about themselves only and what they want, Their careers, the stuff they want and need, having to own things for them selves! THats ok because those people shouldn't have children anyways!
I definitely disagree with your dad. Child free women simply chose to not have kids. Some cannot even for physical or other types of reasons. The way in which your dad is viewing that subject might be in the sense that they do not show ';love';. Or, he doesn't see such women ';showing'; love. Of course, that in many ways isn't true....
Because they believe they're not using their body properly. =/





I honestly don't believe it because it's HER body.


If she doesn't want kids, if you force her to have kids, those kids, are going to have a shitty life - do we really need more kids like that in this world?





She wouldn't only use men for sex - hell, some men don't even want kids. See? It works.
yea he's a miserable old grump who probably sits and complains about how women should be, its you, your old enough to know better just whenever you have a bad situation don't fall on your dads sayings or else you'll turn out like him, thinking the way
everyone one has a right to choose and if a woman doesnt want kids she knows why, maybe shes impatient and shorttempered, maybe she was never loved as a child and doesnt have the capability to give love that she never recieved. it could be a number of things
Your Dad is of the generation that men and women have certain roles and a woman's role is to have children.





Listen to him with respect.....and then continue to believe what you believe.
If more people were child-free when they didn't want them, we would have foster homes, and all those children up for adoption, abused and neglected children.





If someone realizes they don't want children, then I give them credit for not having them.
My sister is child free by choice at age 29 but she loves my daughter. I think you can be child free and loving / caring.
I don't agree with your Dad's thinking at all. Some people are not meant to raise children or just don't want to have any at all.
It depends on the reason a person is childfree. Some are childfree because they can't have children. Some are childfree because they know they couldn't properly care for a child. Some put a career first, others want to remain single.





The type to look out for is the type that want absolutely no responsibilities and are too lazy to care for a child. They are the people that truly are selfish, period.
I don't think that people that don't want to have kids are selfish. It's just not their thing. However I agree with your dad, I think that a marriage without children is like an apple tree that doesn't give apples, and I think it eventually dries up and dies.
Well most childfree women are often rude unpleasent and selfish


but at the same time some can be just as nice and sweet and caring as the ones with children.


Some could be open but others can't...


So I would say it Depends...
They are scard and maby they just don't want to be responsible for someones life.