I wanted four and was able to keep only one...as an only child myself...I wanted a brother or sister VERY much. My Mom died, my father remarried, and I was 35 when my brother was born; he is challenged with Aspberger's syndrome. Watch out what you pray for! Your opinion on choosing to be childfree?
The choice to have children is yours. Noone should tell you what to do or tell you you are selfish for not wanting children. It's a decision only you can make. I love that I have children who love me, but if you live an active lifestyle and you enjoy traveling children probably aren't the best choice for you. You do what you feel is right not what other people think is right.
Well I'd personally say that if you and your husband don't want kids, then dont have them, your the ones that are going to be the soul parents of one or 10 kids no one else is going to be that for them.. SO I'd tell everyone that is saying that, I'd say that its not there concern and you would aprriecate them if they'd keep there thoughts to themselfs..
It is 100000 times better to regret not having children, than to regret having them. I am childfree (by choice) and 42. I am very happy with my choice. I know a lot of other childfree people, who are very happy, and have no regrets. I also know a lot of people who have children that regret doing so.
Many parents will give me the “thumbs down” because they think it is taboo to tell you what I have said. They are only proving my point as they are very bitter deep down inside themselves.
BTW: One of the reasons that I became a Buddhist was because of people who call themselves Christians yet criticized me over my choice to remain childfree.
I think it is a personal decision, made between a couple and nobody else's business. I am a Christian but would never shove my beliefs down someones throat or tell them that they are horrible for choosing to not have children. Which is better, to not have children or to have them and not fully appreciate them?
I think some people were made to be parents and some people just werent. you may be one of those that just want to be with your husband and not share him with anyone else. Now if he wanted a child and you didnt then there would be an issue but as long as you both agree that children arent in the cards there is nothing wrong with that.
i have never had a child.i am 54 and about 30 yrs ago i had a vasectomy.at the time i got a lot of flack about the op and really got sick of people telling me i was being foolish. i have never once regretted my choice.i have lots of nieces and nephews that i love dearly and get on well with and enjoy seeing,but never once have i felt the need for my own child.run with what your own conscience.dont be swayed by what other people say.YOU are the one`s that have to live with your choice.
As a Christian I find it appalling that others are criticizing you for your choice. Is it not better to never have a child than to have one that you don't truly want? My spouse and I have made the same decision (not to have children) and stand by it firmly. We are not all meant to be parents.
Good for you! Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I have a stepdaughter, and more than likely, will not have any children of my own. If my husband and I decide later in time, then we will consider adoption. There is no law that says you HAVE to have children when you are married. I much rather prefer to be the stepmom, and ';cool'; aunt!
My take is this-
The world already has enough people in it.
Its not 2 months after the Great Flood, there is no need to ';repopulate'; the world.
We don't need any more fuuk trophies.....I am sure you and your husband aren't so great you should duplicate yourselves, anyway...so go travel and enjoy yourself.
They are not friends if they force you to conform to a view you do not share. Tell them, ';Well I think your selfish for disrespecting how I feel. Leave me alone!';
Look, it's your choice. That's all they should know. The rest is not their business and let them know that too.
Do whatever you want, if you don't want kids, don't have any, why do you care what others think?
I'm a christian, btw, and i could not care less if you have kids or not.
its your decision and your lives. dont let other people try to dictate what you do. you arent wrong for thinking you might not want children. other people dont know what would work best for you and your husband.
I go to church and believe in God and his Son Jesus too! BUT I think some people should NOT have children! And it is perfectly okay if a couple does not want them too!
I have never known ';Christians'; to say you have to procreate!
Hey, it is YOUR CHOICE !!!! tell these others back off. Tell them to have a few more kids. It will take you being rude to them for them to stop.....
Being childfree is the best option anyone could have. I never want children and I would never let any breeder try and discourage me and try to change my mind.
You have plenty of years so no need to worry. Take your time.
rd
I have great respect for people who think things through logically and not have children. Its harder to decide not to have a child than it is to just decide to have one. You can be an awesome big sister or volunteer for those that really need support....and many more things to help. You are NOT selfish, they are selfish for saying that and have no right to tell you how to live your life like that. It's just really important that what ever decision you make you and your husband are totally open with each other on what you both want so one isn't left out.
I think it's only possible to be selfish in regard to people who already exist. For example, if I have food and my neighbor has none, it would be selfish of me not to share. However, if I had food and decided I had to create a whole new person for the purpose of sharing it, that would be ridiculous. Unless your religion commands you to procreate, you are under no obligation whatsoever to have even one child. As a matter of fact, I am strongly against having even a single child that you are not completely sure you want to have.
I lived by this advice. I wanted two children and we had two children. After the second one was born, I got a vasectomy even before she could walk. I love my daughters beyond all reason, but I wouldn't want any more kids.
Simply put, if you don't want them, don't have them. And you don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. Just be sure the two of you are in agreement. It actually sounds like you're fence-sitters, but if you come down on the childfree side of the fence remember that a lot of people think our lifestyle is somehow odd or inherently ';selfish.'; Maybe so, but it's just as selfish to want a kid. (To prove my point: ask a parent sometime to explain why they had kids without using the word *I* as in ';I wanted, I thought...';) We are all';selfish'; in one way or another, and we do what works for us. Those people that are bothering you? They made their life choices, now it's your turn.
Some people need others to validate them and their choices, and if you do something different with your life they think you're casting aspersions on their choices. There are also christians of a certain type who think Jesus gives them bonus points for sacrificing themselves on the altar of children and family (I have extended family like this, yuck) and accuse anyone who doesn't do the same of ';trying to get away with something.'; These are the most bitter people of all, and I'm not real sure Jesus wants that sacrifice if it isn't done with a glad heart. There are people, both men and women, who think biology is absolutely destiny and the most important thing any woman can do is give birth (wrong!).
It's been my experience, though, that the people who hassle you to have kids sometimes regret how things turned out for them. Not that they regret their kids, per se, but that they lost a lot of opportunities because of them. I can see how that would make a person unhappy, but that doesn't give them permission to apply misery loves company-type persuasion. That's sometimes a sign of a crappy parent, too. The people I encounter who don't take issue with my choice not to have kids are people who are secure in their decision to have them and are generally good parents because they went into it with realistic expectation which a lot of people don't have.
Lots of words to say if you don't want 'em, don't have 'em. You only get one life; make sure the stuff you spend your time doing is what you really want to do. You don't owe anyone any explanations and people who truly love you do not try to guilt you into doing things you aren't sure about.
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