Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What, if any, negative effects has being childfree had on your life?

I have been officially childfree a year now. I had a vasectomy a year ago. I am now 25. If you are CF, or know someone that is, have you noted problems with social issues, family, etc?What, if any, negative effects has being childfree had on your life?
Good parents will not give you a lot of trouble if your choice should come up in conversation. Bad parents, on the other hand--the kind of people who just followed the life script and didn't put any thought into having kids, then think the world should change to accommodate their decision--will give you a TON of crap. They act like your decision not to procreate is somehow an indictment of their choice to do so, but their real motivation is jealousy. They are locked into a life that they realize too late they didn't want, so you should suffer too, just like them. Obviously that's a very long way of saying ';misery loves company.';





While interactions with bad parents are negative in the short run, they are actually good in the long run because you figure out quickly who to cut out of your life.What, if any, negative effects has being childfree had on your life?
My husband's family expects us to worship his sister's kid. We have no weight with them when it comes to holiday preferences, and so on, because we do not possess the all-important grandchild.





Most of the problems CFA's face have more to do with people who have children rather than problems of their own from not having children.
I think most of the people that are answering don’t know what “Child-Free” is.





When I was young my family was not very happy with my choice.





When I got in the military, I was considered some kind of freak (that was in the late 80’s). In my late 20’s and early 30’s dating was somewhat of a challenge as nobody wanted their daughter to date any man that was not going to make babies. My in-laws always hated me. Also people called me “gay”, “heathen”, “freak” etc.





In my 40’s people lightened up on me. Today I am seldom bothered about it. Most people with now grown children tell me that they would have done the same if they could go back in time. Hind sight is very much 20-20.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We waited for a long time before even thinking about having a kid.


we wanted to get established in life first. Then we found out that I have a fertility disease. We have tried fertility drugs and other suggestions from my Doctor. It's looking like it's never going to happen for us.





It has caused alot of depression on my part, and some painful emotions as well. I come from a big family, and every cousin I have has already had 1-3 kids. I'am the ONLY one in my huge family who doesn't have kids. While I'am happy for them, it hurts at the same time. To see their little ones, and see how lovey they are it breaks my heart.


I cry about it sometimes. I'm trying to deal with it, but at the same time I can't stop asking god why? Why not me, why can't I be a mother. He knows that I would be a very good mom, and yet he doesn't bless me with a child. But 12 and 14 year old girls are having kids daily, and some leave them in trash cans and dumpster..





It can be extremely emotional.
I am not maternal in the least and quite frankly, I'd rather lose a limb than have a child!





It's had no negative effect on me. I have a large family with lots of nephews and nieces who have now got children and I love them dearly, but I wouldn't want one of my own.
None ! Good that you had a vasectomy, to be able to enjoy sex without worrying about crotch droppings is wonderful :D
No. Those issues only come up if you care for peoples' approval. If you don't care, then none of this happens at all.
no child tax credit for you! lol, thats about the only one I can come up with!
Perhaps the loss of unconditional love that a child can provide. The patience you would learn from them, and the great many of memories you would gain. It's not easy having children to raise...but I don't know one parent that would take it back. But many adults just aren't cut out for love and care it takes to have a child and that's why so many grow up in bad homes, but only you know what you can handle, so I would just go from there and not make an executive decision until your completely ready.
I want a child soon. My boyfriend doesn't for a few years. Life sucks. :(
my father is CF and never had an issue

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