Childfree movement vs. having children: Who would you find more selfish?

A person who decides not to have a baby or a person who chooses to have a baby because they want one.





Many people who choose not to have any children are supposedly said to be selfish but my sister who is part of that movements finds it selfish to have a kids just to fill your desires and doing the ';traditional thing';. I don't agree with her sentiments of course. I'm not anti-children but I don't want half a dozen either. Just one or two.Childfree movement vs. having children: Who would you find more selfish?
Well I have a little boy. I have always wanted children. I was even told by several doctors at the age of 21, that I would probably not have any. But just because I have a child, doesn't make me any better or less selfish than someone that doesn't have any children. Everyone has their own views and desires on the subject. I know some people that have children and are extremely selfish. Their children do NOT come first in their lives. But on the other hand, I know people that don't have children, and are selfish people as well. It totally depends on the individual.Childfree movement vs. having children: Who would you find more selfish?
Human beings as a species are selfish. It is evolutionary as the only way for species to survive is to be selfish and indulge in self preservation and reproduction. Humans however, have more complex reasons.





I can see both sides of this argument. People who do not have kids will never know the self sacrifice that is daily for most parents. The focus shifts from the self to the children. But people who choose to have kids are fulfilling a need inside or a desire to have children for themselves first. It a selfish want that ends up being self sacrificing.





It is a paradoxical question.
well, i think that if you don't want to have children it's a life choice EVERY person is entitled to make and i don't think it's selfish. i think that if you KNOW you don't want kids or wouldn't be a good parent then it's smart not to have kids.


also believe that if you WANT to have kids you should have them as long as you can take care of them. it's not selfish to have a child because you want to have kids, being a parent is a selfless act AS LONG as you put your kids FIRST before anything else.
I think a person who decided not to have children is less selfish.





I know I am selfish, and my Husband knows he is selfish. We love our Children dearly, but we knew the possibilities of something being wrong with them, not entirely, but we knew. 2 of our Sons have life long battles to fight, and 1 has issues, which are being addressed.


The 2 Sons with life battles to fight, have these problems, because they are hereditary.
Having a baby because you want one for unconditional love.





In a way that's what most people want when they have a baby, to love and care for someone. But I mean on the bases of the person wanting a baby to 'show off' and/or cause they are depressed and want more.





Choosing to be childless is selfish as in you don't want to have to support anyone, but it could be good cause they are worried they'll not do a good job.





It's a very interesting questions.





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I don't think either are selfish. Most people who have babies have them because they want them. It is one of the most natural things a man and women can do. How can that be selfish? On the other hand, I can see why women don't want children either. I am one of those women. I have no real desire for children of my own. I am a very involved aunt, and God mother and for me that is enough. I don't think it is selfish to bring a child into this world when there are so many children out there who have no families.
I actually do have half a dozen kids.... I have 5 living children and 1 due in August. I have to say my children are my world. I do not believe all parents have kids to fill their void. I love being a mother. Although it may be hard sometimes, at the end of the day it is all worth it. I love seeing my kids laugh...smile....go through stages of life. Have you ever heard children are our future? What do you expect to come of our future without our children. For those who choose not to have kids.... well....to each it's own...but do not condemn those of us who choose to have large families and acutally love our kids and take care them....
Neither..that's why they call it a free country.


Having kids because its the ';done thing'; is wrong.


I never felt any desire to have children and if not for the happy mishap of child no. 1 I am fully confident I would never have set out to get pregnant and plan a family.


I have 3 kids and love 'em to bits but I worry that I've added to an over populated planet, but all I can do now is educate them for the future and hope they are happy and safe.


Its not selfish to not have kids, it IS selfish to have them then for 5 days of the weeks pretend they are not their so yu can go back to work NOT for the money but because ';I can't be a SAHM I HAVE to use my brain'; (thank you mum at playgroup who came out with THAT gem.


Do as you wish but don't expect the world to follow you :)
It really doesn't matter. If a person doesn't want kids, that's up to them. If a person does want kids, they should have them, and other people shouldn't judge if they have a problem with. I personally think that the people who judge are the selfish people.
Neither one is selfish. Selfishnes means doing something that benefits you AND causes harm to, or denies the needs of someone else. Living your life in a way that makes you happy, but causes harm to no-one else, isn't selfish.
I don't find either one to be selfish. Each person has their own set of instincts and their own wants. Not everyone wants to have children and vice versa. I find it annoying that people judge other peoples decisions on their choices of children.
Having a child because you want one is how most people end up with children. Selfishness would be having a child and then not meeting his or her emotional needs (putting your own needs first).
yeah i agree with your sister! if more people felt this way too it would save a lot of innocent children from tortured childhoods and upbringing.
I don't think either choice is selfish. How can someone be selfish if they know what they want to do with their life?
Both are selfish
That depends on the parent. If you have a person, who is perfectly nice, but not willing to make a child their number one priority then it would be selfish of them to have a kid just to do the ';traditional thing';. My step-son has a mom like that, got married at 17, had 2 kids, and she is the sorriest excuse for a mom I have ever seen. Can't be bothered to show up at plays, can't get them to school on time because it would interfere with when she would have to leave the house for work, so she doesn't have to leave for work until 8:30, so that is when the kids leave for school....it doesn't matter to her in the slightest that they miss their reading class every day, as long as it doesn't inconvenience her. See, people like that who are not willing to put their child first, they are the selfish ones.





And vice versa, if you have a kid because you want a kid, but you know you can't afford one, and can't provide for one then why are you going to be selfish and have a child before you are financially and emotionally ready...just to have one because it is the thing to do?





Like i said....it depends on the person.