Why do people automatically assume I don't want to get married/date just because I'm childfree?

I've pretty much made the decision that one of my major goals in life is to make it to my old age WITHOUT ever giving birth to or adopting a child. It really, really, REALLY doesn't seem that fulfilling or enlightening to me.





However, a lot of people, including a couple of my relatives, seem to interpret this as me not wanting to get married and preferring to die alone and with lots of cats. Which is farther from the truth- I want to get married. I just want a hubby who dislikes the prospect of having children as much as I do.





So please explain to me- WHAT THE HELL?Why do people automatically assume I don't want to get married/date just because I'm childfree?
You will change your mind when you get married.





Thanks for sounding so whiny about this topic! You don't like my opinions then don't post the questions dear. Hard but true.Why do people automatically assume I don't want to get married/date just because I'm childfree?
Wow do you sound ignorant. I guess all of those married couples out there with no kids are imaginary, huh?

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I know a few people who are much like you, they don't want kids. There are guys out there that don't want kids. As long as your honest and up front with the guys you date, then you will find someone like you who doesn't want kids. Some people just don't want kids, and some people who have them shouldn't. Some people think that every couple should have kids and wants them. Best of luck!!!
I think that it is just a common assumption for people to make. A lot of people get married so they can have kids - or because they already have kids together.


There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. The right partner will come along for you...just make sure that you have a long talk about the subject.
I've been childfree by choice for years as well but thankfully I never ran into that. I still always had people try to hook me up with someone. I finally found a wonderful man by joining the local childfree social group in my area and attending their social functions.





Good luck! There are plenty of childfree men out there. :o)
Marriage usually means kids. If you are planning on not having kids then you probably will never find a guy. Therefore everyone's opinions.
They're narrow minded and can't think out of the box!






You shouldn't be moved by others opinions, and there are plenty! of guys out there that do not want kids. Go for it!

pimple

Why do parents feel the need to preach about the joys of parenthood to the childfree?

We already know that ';it's all worth it';. We've already heard that ';you'll change your mind one day';. Or that ';it's the most important jb in the world';.





We don't preach to you about the joys of being childfree and try and talk you into NOT having children. Not all people want children and not all people are fulfilled by parenthood.





So why do you still feel the need to preach to the childfree about how great parenthood is?Why do parents feel the need to preach about the joys of parenthood to the childfree?
I think that every parent who is honest will admit that they think of what their life would be like if they didn't have kids. The trips that they would take, the great hobbies they would have time to do, the great shape they would be in if they had all that time to go to the gym, how clean their house would be, etc. Whether all that is true or not doesn't matter. I think a lot of that preaching about how wonderful it is to have children is mostly about convincing themselves that having children was a good trade off with all of those other things that might have been if they didn't have children.





Also, there are a lot of really great things about parenthood that parents think other people just can't miss out on. But I totally agree with you that some people don't have that burning desire to have children and that it is silly to try to convince them.





In this day and age, it should be a choice, and some people know themselves well enough to know that parenthood isn't for them. It isn't like our species is in danger of extinction or that the only point in life is to reproduce. In the past, really the only way that many women could find meaning in life was to make a home and fill it with kids to take care of. Now that there are so many more options for women, the attitude that everyone must procreate has got to go away!





I think that the only thing you can do with these kind of people is to smile and try and change the subject. Just ask a parent how their kid is doing in school or what the kid's latest achievement is and they will be totally off the subject of you and on to raving about how wonderful their progeny is!Why do parents feel the need to preach about the joys of parenthood to the childfree?
i don't. i think most people don't. though i certainly am happy to talk about what i think of parenthood if asked.





i'm sure you mean why do *some* parents. just as, i've noticed, *some* childfree people feel the need to bash parenthood and children generally.





some people are jerks. it affects parents and nonparents equally.
That is rude. If someone knows you're childfree by choice, they have no business saying anything to you about it. I have a friend who doesn't want kids and I applaud her for it. There are enough moms who don't want to parent her kids. She's not going to be one of them.
I dont! I have many child free by choice friends, they love my kids but don;t want to take them home!!! We find alot of things to talk about. If someone ask me my opinion, I say that parenthood is not for the faint of heart, but its the right choice for me!!
i love having kids but some dont- you may change your mind one day or you may not- it's your choicde but it is a big one-it's a huge responsibility





i never even thought to ask anyone why they didnt have kids or even chose that route. for all i know it could be a sensitive subject
Lol. I'd never preach to you. How dare I try to push a child on someone that doesn't want one? Kids deserve better than that. As a grown adult, surely you can make your own choices. Why need a stranger to browbeat you into one? My stepmother has no bio children, only 2 of us from my Dad's first marriage. If that's the way they wanted it, that's how it is. I'd never presume anything differently.
When you refer to ';you'; in your question, you are not referring to ME because I do not have children. Will not have children, never had children, don't want children. Nobody seems to raz me about it. Just tell those people that you are NOT having children and ask them to change the subject! It's none of their business. What if you Can't, that's not their business either and yet they keep asking you don't they? It's annoying and something you just want to say SHUT THE 'F'; UP! but you are too polite and you don't. At some point, you are going to be so tired of it that you are going to ask them ';what part of ';NO'; don't you understand?';


Now that I am 44, nobody will dare tell me I'll change my mind or go into that whole lecture. When people ask if I have kids I say ';No kids, cats'; I have three cats, a bird some walking stick bugs, gonna get a puppy. THOSE are my children and my husband and I are just peachy fine dandy with that.


And I like how you put that. We are not ';childless'; we are ';childfree'; Free to do what we want. Free to not be burdened by kids, free to spend our money elsewhere, free from the HUGE responsibility free from....you get it.
maybe they are insecure........


as an expectant mother i have never made those comments to anyone.


its good to be carefree i loved it but at this moment im not but its all good.
I've never tried to push parenthood on anyone. Not everyone has what it takes to be a good parent, and that's OK. I respect those who realize they're not parent material and make the decision to remain childless.


Similarly, my husband and I HAVE been told by childless people how great it is not having kids, and asked why on Earth we would want to ';give up our lives'; for our children. In fact, when I mentioned to a close (childless) friend that my husband and I are happily awaiting Baby #2, she asked me why we'd want to have to go through raising another kid. Needless to say, she won't be invited to the baby shower!


For us, we haven't given up anything; our lives have only been enhanced by our son. We still have an active social life, but we personally love being with our son more than anything. I realize not everyone feels the same way, and that's fine. To each her own.
One can only know how great it is if they are a parent. I am a parent of two and do not preach to people who are child free unless they ask me about it. People who plan on being child free are usually strong animal lovers. Are you? I love my dog, but it's a completely different kind of love. Just live your life one day at a time the way you want to. If you change your mind one day than great for you....if you decide to be child free than great for you. Life is to short to worry about what other people think.
CHILDFREE OR CHILDLESS?

I have a question for teens and young adults when it comes to being childfree permanantly.?

Lets say if you decided at an young age you never wanted children, and you chose to have a sterilization at a young age. If you had one, would you regret it and be happy about it?





If you chose to be childless permanantly...





Girls, which would you have, tubal ligation, hysterectomy, IDU, or birth control?





Guys, which would you have, castration or a vasectomy?I have a question for teens and young adults when it comes to being childfree permanantly.?
I'm thinking about making myself 'childfree' in the future. No, I don't think I'll regret it, because ever since I've been little, kids have never been of interest to me.I have a question for teens and young adults when it comes to being childfree permanantly.?
i wouldnt do anything permanant...but stick to birth control. because i could have changed my mind if i met the right person, or just with age.





but luckily...i wanted babies. so i dont have to think about that... but once i pop out another one or two, im going with the tubal ligation.
Usually doctors will not perform these type of surgeries on young people unless there are extenuating circumstances (an hereditary disease, for example). And castration? You're kidding, right? A hysterectomy? No doc is performing either of these for birth control!!!!
Castration is waaaaaaaaay too drastic. Vasectomy is better.
Your question in inconsistent.





You ask: If you decided you did not want children, would you regret it later?





That is utterly stupid. If someone KNOWS they are going to change theit mind they won't undergo some permanent procedure, KNOWING they will be sorry later, now will they?
UM, A respectable doctor would refuse to sterilize a person under a certain age if they have not already had at least 2 children, so that is not even an option. If they are not wanting to have children they need to use proper birth control until they are old enough to make that decision.


BTW: I met my husband when I was 30 and never really thought that I would want kids until I met him, so it was a good thing I never took that drastic measure.
Castration and hysterectomy would have serious health effects and no Dr would do it. For starters women run a significantly higher risk of osteoporosis if they do not produce any oestrogen (which they wouldn't if they had a full hyst). Aside from that both sexes would need to be on hormone replacement for the rest of their lives, which isn;t healthy.





I don't think your actual question is one that can be answered by a teen or youngster - perhaps by someone that has been through this? Although I'd be surprised if anyone has been through this as most Drs won't perform this type of drastic action on a youngster.
CASTRATION!!! I not a four legged dog.
Guys should choose a vesectomy over castration.





IUD and ';birth control'; (I'm assuming you mean pills, patch, implants, shot's, etc.) are not permanent. The only thing a young girl can definitely get is the ';birth control'; option.





Many doctors will not do any permanent action on people who are younger than 25, which for many it's a good reason but for the few that are certain where they stand and won't change their mind it's an annoyance. IUD is designed more for women who have already had children, you have to look for a physician willing to do it if you havn't had vaginal birth and it's more likely to be rejected by your body (or not even fit) if you haven't carried a child to term.





Hysterectomy and castration are just extreme methods and have huge repercussions beyond making on infertile, I highly highly doubt a person not undergoing a sex change operation would find a doctor willing to do either of those procedures if the person is just avoiding reproduction.
I dont much want kids of my own but I'm pretty sure I will change my mind one day.


I'm currently taking birth control pills but for other medical reasons but I will most likely keep taking them even after I dont have to anymore.


I might one day like to have some other, permanant solution done
Well, I don't plan on staying child free for the rest of my life, but if I did, I would choose birth control, in case I changed my mind.
castration?? hahhaha you're bugginn

Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?

I'm a 31 year old guy and it feels so great knowing that I don't have that responsibility. I can do whatever I want and take it easy. I mean I think babies are cute and all that, but they are just not for me. I don't know how people do it because I would go crazy from the stress of raising children. Every time I see people with their loud kids at Walmart I say to myself ';thank god I'm not them!';...I also don't want to get married. Am I weird for not wanting a family?Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?
No, I don't think you're weird for feeling this way. Some people aren't cut out to me husbands or fathers. So, go do your own thing, guilt free.Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?
no your smart because there are people who have kids and dont want them then they get abused and are not cared for. not everyone should have kids and especially if a person does not want any thats a dangerous mixture. stay single if you want and enjoy your life and remember not everyone needs to be a parent.
You don't sound like a bad person. You have the right to remain childless, that is as long as you don't make any children! If you make one, it's yours!
no because someones makig up for it anyway ha.
No. I differ a little from you due to the fact that I AM married. However, we aren't planning to have kids. I also like the freedom of responsibility, and think I wouldn't be cut out to be a dad. I like having the extra money to buy all the toys I've wanted. Now, some people think this is selfish. Funny how they don't think the same thing about the people who SHOULDN'T have children that do, just because they want kids. What's worse: Not having kids because you don't want the responsibility, and would rather have extra money to live a happy comfortable life? Or having kids when you can't be there for them or have the money to provide a good life for them, only having them because you want kids?
I personally don't think that you are weird for not wanting kids and not wanting to get married. To me, there are too many people who are married for the wrong reasons and have children for the wrong reasons.


At least you know what you want and are honest and happy with your decision. Don't get married or have children if you are not sure of either one. You are only hurting another person and innocent children !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am Child-free and almost 42. My girlfriend is Child-free and almost 37. It is not bad to be Child-free.





I know plenty of parents that are not very happy with having children. However, they can't say anything in public because that is a social taboo.





Just be happy that you made the right choice. Way too many people that have no business having children get pressured by society into having them anyway.

I have a question for the individuals who want to be childfree indefinitely (myself included)...?

Ok, most of you already know that I don't want children. But I would like opinions from other childfree people.





1) Has your family ever criticized you just because you don't want kids?





2) If your family criticized you, what did you do to get them off your back?





3) If you met a girl/guy who wanted kids and you liked her/him very much, would you convince her/him not to have kids?





4) Is it hard to find someone who likes to be childfree indefinitely as well?





5) If you told your parents you didn't want kids, did they turn your words around, like saying you'll have them one day?





6) Did people call you selfish just because you prefer to be childfree?





7) If you were to have sex with your spouse, what would you do to keep from getting pregnant?





8) If your parents wanted you to have kids, would you reject their decisions and remain childfree anyway?





9) Would life be easier with or without children in your life?I have a question for the individuals who want to be childfree indefinitely (myself included)...?
You have a total of 9 questions here, but not to worry. Do you live close to a kindergarten or some other public school? Perhaps a daycare center? Or maybe a local park where kids like to play? Jeez, it seems you have a phobia about kids. But cheer up! Its your right not to have kids and if all your loved ones insist then tell them to adopt their own. Why not free yourself from all these grown-ups who are acting like kids themselves. If it means telling your spouse to be a donor for someone elses child so be it. Sounds like you should fly the coop, so to speak, and go off on your own on a self-revitalizing journey where you might meet some-like minded adults who'd prefer to leave the babysitting to others. Its quite politically correct as feminism is now part of our cultural mosaic. Some people just are not orientated to the family life and choose to pursue individualistic dreams.I have a question for the individuals who want to be childfree indefinitely (myself included)...?
i have a question.....why are you asking this on a parenting board?and if there is anyone on here who never wants kids...


then why are you in the parenting board?
I just want to say that if you don't want children, then good for you for standing up for it. Better to not have them if you don't want them than to bow to pressure from wherever and have one and then realize you were right all along. To me, it doesn't matter why you don't want children, it matters that you just don't want them and that you aren't going to have them. Just be sure that you make sure your ';partner'; is in total agreement before things go too far.
my daughters are 37 and 31 and my son is 35, none are married and none want children. What they want is up to them, do I feel bad cause they do not have children, no? I guess getting married and having children is what is expected, but I expect mine to live the kind of life they want and do what works for them. If your family bothers you about it, change the subject. I am not the average parent, nor are my three the average children, I love them because they have a mind, make their own decisions, good or bad and they have to live with them. I am still a mother but my mothering days are over
Family and friends or even co workers will always try and convince you to have children and think it odd (and tell you) that you choose not to have them. If you firmly believe you dont' want them then don't have them. Don't date someone who wants children in the future...they will think you will change your mind..if you are sure you won't wait for the person who is in agreement with you on that issue. It isn't selfish to not want kids...it is a personal choice. Life is easier, usually, without kids.
that is A decision that people have to make on their own.
Are you trying to convince yourself you made the right decision?





First and foremost YOU are responsible for YOUR choices in life. If you and your partner/spouse are in agreeance about not having children. Take double precautions not to have children.





Have questions like these or conversations like these says your mind is still open to debate. If it's not, then let it go and stick to your guns.

Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?

I resent parents and future parents because they like ot judge alot. They always judge childfree people (like me), telling us we're too young, we'll change our mind, we're selfish, arrogant, we'll go to hell, we're gay.





Anyone who has a problem with childfree people, they deal with me! So is it normal to dislike parents for their hostility, harassment, and disrespect against childfree people and their choices and decisions?








Note: I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated right now. I may be young (19), but I'm not a kid person, I never was. My brother is 40 and is childfree and he felt that way for a long time.Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?
i agree with you. i am 26 and have no kids or any desire to have any. it bothers me that some people with children (which a lot have kids because they think that is what you are supposed to do once you get married) do put themselves up on a pedestal for having little brats.





i do hate when people tell me ';once you get married, that will change.'; how do they know that? i don't even want to get married, much less want to procreate. and i also hate ';well you're not a mother, so you wouldn't know.'; yeah well i am a human and i do live in society, so there are a lot of things that i would know.Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?
It is wrong to stereotype people. Not all parents are hostile toward the childfree. Most of my friends have kids. I don't. They occasionally assume I don't like kids, which is just not the case, but they are not hostile. I would have a problem with anyone who was hostile against me for being who I am, but I would not generalize that to all parents.





Something else bothers me here. You say they tell you that you will change your mind. That means that you have told them that you don't like kids. Saying that to parents is just as bad as parents telling you that you are selfish for being childfree.
Well, it's certainly normal to dislike parents who make statements like that about you. I personally don't have a problem with parents in general, but I don't want kids either, and if any parent said any of those things to me I would have a problem with them too.





A polite way to deal would be to just ignore these comments, or say ';I'm really pretty sure I don't want kids.'; If they say more, then just walk away.
It is good (and smart) to know that you are not a kid person. And they are right...it may change in the future, but maybe not either. My wife and I are not kid people and do not have any (and are not planning on it). We sometimes get ridiculed by all of our friends and other people that have kids, but it doesn't bother me. I believe that if more people were honest with themselves, there would be less abused and neglected kids in the world...
Blow it off.





They're just jealous because you get to do more things, have more money and fewer responsibilities and liabilities than they do.





Parenting is frustrating business and they need to be mad at some one. Right now it's you. Sooner or later they'll turn their anger on the other parent, the grandparents, the school teacher, whomever. You should learn to find it amusing.
Child free, is that being a gay person or some one who is still a virgin? or maybe someone who doesn't like or have kids? either way, y would u dislike parents they helped you through your whole life, they always want best for you, now if u dun want kids or are gay just tell dem to stop bothering u bout that...
If someone is treating you disrespectfully, then it's only natural that you would have negative feelings about that person. But please don't lump us parents all together. We don't ALL think badly of you. I couldn't care less if you have kids or not. I live my life and you live yours. I really don't care...





Stop being so concerned with what everyone else says and does and just enjoy your life!
Live your life the way that makes you happy and don't worry about other people's opinions. There are plenty of children in the world. If you don't want any, that is your right. Go forward and be happy.
Truly I understand. I wasn't a kid person either - well, little kids are fun; but babies - ugh - I didn't even like my own son when he was a baby - I love him with my heart and soul - as my answer to immortality - but truly I don't care for babies all that much.





Little kids on the other hand - are great for taking to the movies, the zoo, the park, the mall - filling them full of sweets and junk food - and giving them back to their mommies.





But at 19, you have other things to think about besides babies and parenthood. College, career, travel, all those things that make you a well-rounded person.





And maybe some day - or maybe not - you will indeed have a change of mind. But if not - then, enh. That's OK too.





But do lighten up. Some of us ';Parents'; aren't nearly as critical as you are of us.
I'm a senior citizen and I have never ever had anyone judge me because I didn't have children. I think you are oversensitive and perhaps feeling guilty that you don't want them.





No one can say to you that you will ';change your mind';, that '; you are selfish or arrogant'; for the simple reason that children are made out of love (surely you'd love your partner) and it just happens if it's going to happen and it's unpredictable. So what I suggest to you is rather to say to yourselves, ';if we become parents then we will accept and love that child with all our hearts, be there for the child (or children), protect them and provide them everything we can';.


When God decides he wants you to have a child you will have one. You don't have a choice. And, he decides if your child will be normal or not, so prepare for that kind of situation ahead of time in learning to accept this kind of child.





You never said if your brother had been checked out and his swimmers are prolific or not. Are ';your'; swimmers taking an active role?
I have friends with no children, and in their 40s and up, it makes no sense for me to be upset with them cuz they don't have kids- how is it selfish to not want kids and to not have them?! Forcing yourself to have kids when you don't want them would just be dumb!





This sounds odd, but I'd say they are jealous that they don't have the freedom people who don't have kids have.





Like right now my husband and I don't have kids and we have friends that do, and they keep saying ';when you gonna have kids?'; and my hubby is trying to push and I'm like no way we are young and your friends WISH they had our freedom lol.
My husband and I are in our mid/late 20s and are child-free. We don't get too much slack for not having kids. Every now and then someone will ask us ';when are y'all going to have a baby'; and we just respond ';never'; . Usually the conversation ends with that. Very seldom do we get the ';you will change your mind'; speech and in that case there's the ';nope, my husband had a vasectomy'; response and then the conversation defiantly ends. The ONLY 2 people that will continue to push the topic are our mothers but in their defense my mother has serious mental disorders and his mother is brain damaged. Most people don't have anything negitive to say about OUR CHOICE not to procreate. If they do, that is their problem, not ours and it shows a lack of maturity on their part. Heck, I knew that I didn't ever want kids when I was 12 and now I am 27 years old and I still feel the same way as I did back then.
My husband and I decided we didn't want children, we're both in our 50's now and happy with that decision. However, the only grief ever given was to me, by other women!!!





I've been called selfish because I chose not to have children. My reply to them was to ask them if they wanted children. When they replied 'yes' I said to them that they were just as 'selfish' because they HAD them when they wanted them. There was no difference between us.





I also tell people who have kids and get on my case for not having them .........I ask them just what qualities they each had that they thought should be reproduced in this world? Why they thought they were so 'all that' that the world needed little duplicates of them.





Nah, live your life for yourself. Why live your life any other way for people you're not even around all the time. You live with you.

Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?

I'm a 31 year old guy and it feels so great knowing that I don't have that responsibility. I can do whatever I want and take it easy. I mean I think babies are cute and all that, but they are just not for me. I don't know how people do it because I would go crazy from the stress of raising children. Every time I see people with their loud kids at Walmart I say to myself ';thank god I'm not them!';...I also don't want to get married. Am I weird for not wanting a family?Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?
No, I don't think you're weird for feeling this way. Some people aren't cut out to me husbands or fathers. So, go do your own thing, guilt free.Am I a bad person for being proud of yourself for being childfree?
no your smart because there are people who have kids and dont want them then they get abused and are not cared for. not everyone should have kids and especially if a person does not want any thats a dangerous mixture. stay single if you want and enjoy your life and remember not everyone needs to be a parent.
You don't sound like a bad person. You have the right to remain childless, that is as long as you don't make any children! If you make one, it's yours!
no because someones makig up for it anyway ha.
No. I differ a little from you due to the fact that I AM married. However, we aren't planning to have kids. I also like the freedom of responsibility, and think I wouldn't be cut out to be a dad. I like having the extra money to buy all the toys I've wanted. Now, some people think this is selfish. Funny how they don't think the same thing about the people who SHOULDN'T have children that do, just because they want kids. What's worse: Not having kids because you don't want the responsibility, and would rather have extra money to live a happy comfortable life? Or having kids when you can't be there for them or have the money to provide a good life for them, only having them because you want kids?
I personally don't think that you are weird for not wanting kids and not wanting to get married. To me, there are too many people who are married for the wrong reasons and have children for the wrong reasons.


At least you know what you want and are honest and happy with your decision. Don't get married or have children if you are not sure of either one. You are only hurting another person and innocent children !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am Child-free and almost 42. My girlfriend is Child-free and almost 37. It is not bad to be Child-free.





I know plenty of parents that are not very happy with having children. However, they can't say anything in public because that is a social taboo.





Just be happy that you made the right choice. Way too many people that have no business having children get pressured by society into having them anyway.

pimple

I have a question for the individuals who want to be childfree indefinitely (myself included)...?

Ok, most of you already know that I don't want children. But I would like opinions from other childfree people.





1) Has your family ever criticized you just because you don't want kids?





2) If your family criticized you, what did you do to get them off your back?





3) If you met a girl/guy who wanted kids and you liked her/him very much, would you convince her/him not to have kids?





4) Is it hard to find someone who likes to be childfree indefinitely as well?





5) If you told your parents you didn't want kids, did they turn your words around, like saying you'll have them one day?





6) Did people call you selfish just because you prefer to be childfree?





7) If you were to have sex with your spouse, what would you do to keep from getting pregnant?





8) If your parents wanted you to have kids, would you reject their decisions and remain childfree anyway?





9) Would life be easier with or without children in your life?I have a question for the individuals who want to be childfree indefinitely (myself included)...?
I am only 25 and have never had any desire to have children. My family has never criticized me for not wanting children because I believe they think I will change my mind one day. I have had friends and co-workers say that it was selfish to not want to have kids in my life and that I would regret it one day. I think that it is definitely a topic to discuss with a significant other before getting too serious because of the seriousness of the subject. And no, I don't think you should try to convince someone who does want children not to have them, and that goes both ways. If you do manage to convince them to change their mind, eventually there would be resentment. As far as getting pregnant, I'm a woman, all I have to do is remember to take my pill everyday. Oh, and I don't think anyone should have kids just because their family thinks they should.

Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?

I resent parents and future parents because they like ot judge alot. They always judge childfree people (like me), telling us we're too young, we'll change our mind, we're selfish, arrogant, we'll go to hell, we're gay.





Anyone who has a problem with childfree people, they deal with me! So is it normal to dislike parents for their hostility, harassment, and disrespect against childfree people and their choices and decisions?








Note: I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated right now. I may be young (19), but I'm not a kid person, I never was. My brother is 40 and is childfree and he felt that way for a long time.Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?
Some people dont want kids. Theres nothing wrong with it. Just ignore people. You will get remarks no matter what you do. People think that they are right and that they know everything.Is it ok to dislike parents for their hostility against the childfree?
You do realize that your question right here is absolutely dripping with judgment and stereotypes, don't you?





Not all parents are hostile towards childfree people. In fact, I would think that a large majority of them respect you for knowing yourself well enough to know that you would not be a good parent and being strong enough to buck society %26amp; do what you know is right for yourself. You would not be doing society or your future children any favors by having a child that you knew you didn't want and didn't want to raise.
you dislike all parents and future parents? that will certainly keep you busy with not liking a lot of people.





i have no problem with people with kids, without kids, people who hope to have kids, or people who have decided never to have them. i do have a problem with people who judge and stereotype entire groups of people based on what a handful of people do.
having kids is a VERY personal decision, i would personally rather see someone who knows they dont want any, and not have any, then someone with a houseful they dont take care of. or one accident that they neglect or abuse and make miserable. good for you for realizing you wouldnt want to raise a child. whether you change your mind or not later on is also your own decision, i dont know why anyone else would worry about it
You sound like the one with the hostility here. Who has disrespected you? I don't know any parents who resent the childfree. Maybe your brother had a few odd experiences but for you to be 19 and already resenting people who have done nothing to you, seems harsh.
Seems to me that you just have a need to blast other people. Why do you keep posting about it? Nobody cares if you are childfree unless you constantly bring it up.
If you don't want to have kids, you don't want to have kids. I only have problems with people who keep having kids they don't want.
Here you go, this is perfect for you.





www.childfreebychoice.com
I don't judge childfree people, i understand that some people just don't want or shouldn't have children. That is their right just as it is our right to want to have children. My aunt is 50 years old and great with kids but never wanted 1 of her own and that is ok with me. I have many family members that choose to have the childfree life and that works for them. I had teachers in school that didn't want to ever have children and that was their right. Just learn to ignore them.





I find there are judgemental people on all sides of life. I have met childfree people that judge me for having children or having more than 1 child and constantly on me about it or they are constantly judging those that choose to have multiple children. So it goes both ways believe me.

Is it normal to hate parents for their hostility against the childfree?

Ok, if you seen my last question about me not liking kids, now this is about the parents.





I resent parents and wannabes because they like ot judge alot. They always judge childfree people (like me), telling us we're too young, we'll change our mind, we're selfish, arrogant, we'll go to hell, we're gay.





Anyone who has a problem with childfree people, they deal with me! So is it normal to hate parents for their hostility and disrespect against childfree people and their choices and decisions?








Note: I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated right now.Is it normal to hate parents for their hostility against the childfree?
The poster who's a mother of two does not know what it's like to be childfree and harassed or ridiculed for your choice. I've heard it all over the years (I'm in my 40's and still ecstatically childfree) and it can be extremely frustrating and annoying. I don't hate parents like that, I just avoid them whenever possible.


Some of them are probably either jealous or threatened by the fact that other people made a different choice and didn't follow the ';life script.';Is it normal to hate parents for their hostility against the childfree?
I'm 27 years old and I don't have children by choice. But I don't hate parents and their children. Everyone is different and there are actually children out there who know how to act in public. The only problem I have with being single and childless is that I sometimes feel like everything is against me. I get the most taxes taken out of my checks and hardly receive it back during tax time. There are no programs out there that help with health or dental insurance. But the bright side is that I don't have to look for a babysitter to go out and get to spend my disposable income on shoes and clothes. So, do hate just live life the way you chose to live it.
It seems quite OK to have strong feelings about parents who dont accept a persons'/couples decision to remain childfree. What this boils down to is that MOST parents dream of having grandkids. This is normal, really. When the parents expectations are clearly not going to be met, they may become hostile. This is clearly a reflection of their inability to accept and therefor support the choice of their own child. It is also a reflection of their own maturity. They'll ';get over it'; or not. Be true to your own convictions.


This is YOUR life.
I am the mother of 2 children and I know exactly what you are talking about that. Mothers especially are so competative and critical with each other you wouldnt believe. It is a club you dont want to be a part of. (not being a mother but the ';mom'; club.) I notice that a lot of people do that to single people too ';when are you gonna get married'; that kind of stuff. Some people are so miserable with the decisions that they made that they want to make others feel bad. Others want to play the ';perfect parent'; ';perfect wife'; role. You are not selfish I admire you for doing what you want to do.
no i guess not parents always want the best for us i no for my lil one1 i do u are the only 1 who nos if they want kids i cant see y u dont like kids tho thts harsh !! really harsh! prehaps u have a reason i dont no :s , it duznt matter if uve got kids or not every 1 2 there own and im sure ull have a just as fufilled life as some 1 with children , u make ur life what u want to x
no man. your perfectly normal. No one should ever train there state of thinking it's today's world of ,money and entertainment that leads people to believe they need to change but they don't.

How do I counter criticism and denial for my being childfree?

I've been childfree ever since I could remember, and though I've thought about what my life would be like if I DID have children, it never appealed to me, nor did I ever come close to changing my mind.





Yet I keep hearing the same CRAP from the same stupid people. Crap like ';Oh, you'll change your mind!'; and ';ALL WOMEN WANT CHILDREN!!!!!1!';





How do I get them to stop?





Additionally, a lot of people have confused my wanting to be childfree with not wanting to get married or being a hard-*** career woman. Not true- I really DO want to get married (to a childfree man) and am looking to pursue a pretty modest career. Is this some sort of stereotype I'm unfamiliar with?How do I counter criticism and denial for my being childfree?
I'm sorry you're going through this. Some people are just rude and ignorant and think that everyone HAS to think like they do.





Hopefully those that are close to you understand your feelings and respect them. If the people bothering you are strangers or people who otherwise don't know you very well, then who cares what they think?





Some people you just won't be able to stop. When they say, ';Oh, you'll change your mind,'; just politely say, ';Sure, maybe'; and change the subject.





For the really rude ones... next time someone asks you why you don't want children, look at them wide-eyed, then burst into tears and tell them that when you were 14 a Dr. told you that you had fertility issues and would never be able to have kids. That ought to shut them up :) But then, I'm a bit of a smart aleck sometimes!How do I counter criticism and denial for my being childfree?
You're also supposed to diet constantly and when you get married put your career on the backburner and put your husband's career first.





It's just one of those things you have to say, ';Screw you'; to and walk away. There are a lot of men and women working diligently to dispel these myths. It's a slow battle.
I'm sorry you're dealing with these people. I'm childfree and I faced the same kind of harassment from these breeders.





Just don't say anything to the breeders and you won't have a problem.





I personally find childfree women attractive. I love them. I would love to marry a childfree woman.
They do it to men as well. Most of the time they call us “gay”, “communist”, or “impotent”. I get so irritated with the titles. I have found that HR will not help.





I just think of something “witty” to say back. Usually I say something that they have to think about in order to understand. That makes them angry because they have to take the time to think about it.
girl, don't worry about what people say, It is none of their dam bussiness! You can't get them to stop, so next time just don't talk about it or change the subject. and if they continue just tell them you don't want to have children and that they are offending you.
It's such a thing all women endure these people... simply don't respond you are better than this judgmental person. So you don't want kids there is nothing wrong with that- the people that are pushing that stuff are just thoughtless and they don't really deserve a response. I would just look at them strangely and laugh then walk away.
Just be up front and honest by telling them yes u want to marry %26amp; have a career but it does not include children. Its none of their business why u don't want kids %26amp; u shouldn't have to defend your decision not to have any
Not all woman want to be mothers and some mothers should never have had children point that out to them.


You know your own mind
I sympathize with you.





It's even worse when you are married. Hubby and I have been married for almost 16 years and his family is finally starting to understand that we are never having children.





I too have heard the same presumptuous, condescending lines from family and friends. Unfortunately, you can't stop them from being obnoxious. We live in a pronatalist society that assumes every woman wants children. Some people don't even think of having children as optional...they think it's something they're ';supposed'; to do! Absurd, isn't it?





The best response to smile and ignore their presumptions. If you really feel the need to respond, politely tell them that parenting is a life long, irreversible responsibility of which you have no interest.

I am Currently on Depakote 250mg. I am pondering becoming childfree. I need Advice!?

I am going to be straight up. Ive had seizures since 1999. I am currently on Depakote 250 mg twice a day. Currently the depakote has been controlling my seizures very well. I have the typeof seizures that are aggrivated by lack of sleep, which I have heard that children don't let you sleep much if at all. This comes from ppl I know who have children...they tell me this...





Depakote causes severe birth defects that can include death in 1% of births....which is too much of a risk for me. I like the way that depakote controlls my seizures and don't want to switch meds to some unknown that may not control them as well. If I have a seizure it means lifestyle and driving restrictions, which I refuse to give up.


Consequently, I am considering the possibility of not having children.





I need advice on this please!!!I am Currently on Depakote 250mg. I am pondering becoming childfree. I need Advice!?
It appears that you have done your research somewhat. However, do not base your decision upon fears. Keep researching. Children are born with birth defects all the time from unknown reasons. That is just the risk that is taken when you decide to have children. On the other hand, there are many, many children who need a good, loving parent, that are past the *don't let mommy and daddy sleep* stage. Basically, you CAN still have children, you just choose not from your uterus! lol Good Luck in your decision!I am Currently on Depakote 250mg. I am pondering becoming childfree. I need Advice!?
The best thing would be to talk to you doctor and also get a second maybe a third opinion. Babies do keep you awake the have to eat about every two hours
CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR NOT A BUNCH OF WEB GEEKS.
This may be difficult for you as you are converting yourself from ';Childless'; to ';Child-free';. There is a big difference you must understand. ';Childless'; means you could not or decided not to have children due to circumstances like health, etc. ';Child-free'; people choose to not have children because they just plan don't want them. ';Child-free'; people are sometimes a little ego-centric about their choice. Many may be somewhat offended if you say you are ';Child-free because of health';. You might find that you don't fit well with ';Child-free'; people for this reason.





Either way you are wise to choose the path of caution. You could have a perfectly health baby, and turn out to be a great mom, but the odds are not in your favor. I suggest that it is better to error on the side of caution. I stand behind you on this.
I have 2 girls who are 3.5 %26amp; 5. They do sometimes make it hard to get enough sleep but all kids are different %26amp; it depnds on how much help you would be getting from a spouse or other helpers as to how har it would be on you.


You can also train your baby from a very early age to be on your schedule. So if you stay up late just because it is you %26amp; the sleep late, you can put your baby on your schedule.


I know lots of people who have always worked 3rd shift %26amp; their whole family is on that schedule, kids too! The only thing you would have to worry about is when they go to school. But you could just homeschool them.