Will someone please explain in a NICE way.Why do some people think that the childfree are selfish?
people become parents in hopes of being something better.
When they realize that being a parent is actually a way of turning one's life into a real hell, they get jealous of other people -who are wiser than them as not to have children- and they do their best to insult those people.
That also helps them justify their false decision (to have child that is)
And the wise keep on wondering WHY on Earth the human mankind goes wilder and more insane with each new generation.
The answer is so simple: The real wise people OPT not to have children. This is whyWhy do some people think that the childfree are selfish?
....And the tax base continues to get smaller and smaller. Pretty soon you don't have any social security and the government has to raise taxes again. Check your facts, some countries have a real problem on their hands now that zero population growth has been achieved.
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Because lots of parents are absolutely miserable and they're jealous that you're not too.
What's really selfish is telling another person that they are selfish for living their own lives. Have kids or not, it's nobody else's business.
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i think that they are jealous of you. they are having bad times maybe and think you should go through the same thing. then when things are good they think that you should share that feeling also. people should not be so judgemental....they don't know your thoughts,but that is human nature I guess
Having a child is a choice and if you do not want children I do not think it is selfish. It is a choice and a child shouldn't be with a parent that didn't want them. As you get older you may regret not having a child to help take care of you when you or your spouse has passed. Children are a blessing and end up raising us as elderly, how we raised them as children.
I don't think that childless people are selfish. But I do know that being a parent requires (or should anyway) a lot of selfless thinking and acting. As a parent the child must come first for many, many, years.
I support your choice not to have children. There is nothing worse than someone having children who did not want them to begin with.
I think that people who regard the childless by choice set selfish are just a little bit jealous. It has to do with the idea that you have a lot of love to give so why not give it to a child. What I think it boils down to, however, is that the childfree do not have the additional drain on their time and finances, and can therefore concentrate on creating a more affluent life for themselves.
I dont think it's selfish at all, Think of all the people in the country who should be childfree because they don't take care of their children, or abuse them, I think it is your right to decide wether or not you want to have children. Some people just feel like its a woman's duty to have children, but I don't think so. I know plenty of kids who would have been much better off if their parents would have just not had them at all. Do what you feel is right.
Because you spend all the money you make on yourself.
You dont need to spend it on the child.
You can focus all your time and energy on yourself.
When you have a child you no get to be selfish.
I dont think selfish here is used with negative connotation. As a parent I wish everyday i could be selfish once and a while.. That's why when parents take time to do things for themself after having kids they will feel guilty because they are being selfish.
When you have a child, most parents never out their self before the child. The child comes first.
It's because Breeders are stupid and they think anyone who does not idolize the creatures that emerge from a woman's twat after labor are wrong and we deserve to rot in hell or we are stupid...you know their usual spill. I decided not to have any because me and my husband are content enjooying our lives without whiny brats in tow. We can go to destinations people with brats can only dream of. It's pretty hard to make love on the beach in St. Croix when your brats are whining for milk.
I think what is meant by this is that when you have kids, you put them first, you very rarely think of yourself and your needs but that of your kids, etc. People who are single have no one to think of but themselves and that is what they usually do.
BEIN CHILDFREE ISNT SELFISH. IF U DONT WANT KIDS U DONT HAVE TO. SUM PPL DONT WANT ALL DA PROBLEMS DAT COME WIT KIDS. U AINT BEIN SELFISH
hmm they r not selfish um only bring a child to this world i f u can accomodate it and have a strong body and mind
i am child-free...and im not one bit selfish... i choose not to have kids right now b/c i dont want my kids to go through what i went through as a kid... i want to finish school and get a good job and be financial ready and well as emotionally ready.... those people who have said that dont know what they are talking about..its not selfish its smart.. its the responsible thing to do... they are the selfish ones....they are dwelling on the fact that they have kids and we dont... we get to do things when we want to and at that very moment.. but if you have kids you have to call a babysitter and get everything lined up ahead of time the are the selfish ones... they are thinking about themselves and not their children...
they are jealous
For many people the belief that we exist is to procreate. A little to pushy for my thinkin. Most of us were brought up thinking that the dream life is to have and raise children. Look around people how many times do you have to hear of child abuse cases neglect misuse, when asked many parents say the children were ruining my life! I can only believe that the people who have said you were selfish said so as to hide their own feelings of sorrow at having burdened themselves with children. Are you selfish who cares have a good life and be happy your are not the one making a child miserable.... hows that for an answer!
no not having children isnt being selfish. some people jsut dont see themselves becoming parents. and if you think that that kind of life style is best for you than others shouldnt critice you on it. who knows maybe right know you dont see yourself being able to have kids now. but in the future u might. just depends on the timing
It's such a harsh assessment for someone to make I don't think the burden should fall on you to have to endeavor to understand something so blatantly inappropriate.
There are many reasons people may or may not have children. There is no excuse for someone to judge someone else for having or not having children.
Why would you be selfish? The only people who are selfish are the ones who bring children into the world when they aren't ready or can't support them.
to be honest i cogradulate you for realizing that you are not a person who wants to parent.I think to try to force a person to be a parent is horrible for the kid and parent. No person could be a good parent when they do not want to be and the kid will feel unwanted and unloved. take a look at all the moms wha are unhappy because they fell into peer pressure
I get told that I am selfish all the time by my mother. (You cant have an only child, she will have no-one to play with) I am sick of it! I have ONE child. That is IT! I am done, my tubes are tied.
Life can be fufilled in other ways beside having children. Travel, other peoples children, volunteerism, pets, career, financial stability...
The list could go on forever.
The capitalist society WANTS us to pro-create so that we can make other insatiable consumers. The baby industry WANTS us to make babies so that we can buy more stuff.
The earth can't take so many humans- especially American humans.
Opinions are opinions... and if I didn't hold my tongue I have a very good reason as to why someone would say that. There are several reasons why a couple may not have a child.... maybe they have thought out the pros and cons and made a joint decision that having a baby wouldn't be the best choice based on lifestyle, health, finances, and various other factors.
I truely believe that 9 times out of 10 that comment would come from a secretly jealous or disgruntled parent. My mom used to say how happy we made her when we were growing up.... but now that I am older she admits that she really wishes that she could've gone and done everything I have done at such a young age... but couldn't because she had her kids.
In a way it is, but to a very, very small degree. It's kind of hard to explain, but like some people don't want kids, because they think they will hold them back, or be a big financial burden. Other people don't want them just because they don't have any interest in raising children. I wouldn't call somebody selfish for not wanting children, because the same could be said for those who have kids. Some people just think that it's their duty to get older, get married and pop out kids, and they're kind of weird.
based on how i have seen some parents behave more couples should be child free there are some pretty messed up parents out there that should never have kids,so maybe the ones who choose not to know this is not for them
1. Maybe they are trying to trick you into having one.
2. Maybe they are trying to make you guilty.
3. Maybe they are really philatropic about solving the world's problems.
3. Maybe they think very highly of you and its selfish of you not to pas on your genes.
4. Maybe they love children and have all the money in the world
5. Maybe they are just plain selfish and self centered themselves by imposing their world view on others without due consideration of the other parties situation.
The people that say not having children is selfish are the same ones that say having children ties you down... Go figure, can't satisfy everyone...
I have been in both shoes... I think that people who say that childless people are selfish, and actually jealous of their freedom.
the people who say moms who dont have a child because they are selfish are idiots
1. they do not know how much preparation goes into making a child
2. it hurts like HECK
3. if you cant take care or nature the child dont have one
4. your husband can abandon you when you have a child making it even more harder for you to take care of your self and the child
plus the child may be crying that he didnt have 2 parents
They are trying to ease the guilt caused by their inadequate parenting. These people obviously view parenting as some kind of grueling duty or job instead of the life-giving fulfillment of purpose that it is. They want to spread thier misery because as we all know misery loves company. Ignore their inane chatter.
At the same time I regard people who marry and don't have children like I would someone who buys tickets to Disneyland and doesn't go on the rides. Why bother?
i do not feel you are selfish as long as you are upfront with your mate and they don't want children. i admire your honesty everyone is not meant to be a parent
By nature non parents never have to make sacrifices that one must make with kids and pay more attention to their own needs, to parents that seems like selfishness. What gets to me is the childless ones that are pet obsessed especially the single ones that are over 40, they seem like they must have ended up like that because they are relationship challenged? I dont want to sound cruel, I feel sorry for them. I wont date a woman who doesnt desire children. I'm also allergic (very) to pets so my views are biased but at least I admit it.
Well, you are enjoying benefits of this beautiful world and loving it too (it seems). So what is the answer?
May I ask if your parents would have thought the same way, then? It is very easy to say, yeah that would have been fine. But in my opinion it is also an important part of everybody's life and we should take it that way. It may give you lot of discomfort, possible, but in the end when your child call u papa/mummy it feels heavenly. At least it does for me.
YES! IT IS SELFISH. DEFINITELY SO.
Do you know what 'unconditional love' is? You might think you know, just like I thought I knew before I became a single father, but I was wrong. Totally and completely wrong. I wasn't even close to understanding what 'unconditional love' was. When my daughter turned three (not before), and she began expressing herself so much more, not just with words, with actions and looks and smiles and hugs and kisses, that is when I realised what that meant.
Before my daughter taught me, I thought I could provide unconditional love, it was all about what I did and didn't do. It was all about ME- but now I know I was just being selfish- only thinking about myself. I am no longer that way.
Now I know that when I am in a bad mood I effect my daughter's mood. When I do something for myself, I am ignoring the needs of everyone around me. And no matter how bad or great I am in a day, my daughter always tells me how much she loves me--- and that is a blessing and a burden in itself.
Being childless means you are only satisfying yourself most of the time- even if you satisfy your partner once in a while. Having a child means you satisfy yourself more by satisfying their needs first. Having a child come to you randomly hugging a kissing you, telling you how good you are cannot compare to anything else in the whole world!
If you cannot have children, consider adopting. And if you are waiting for 'things' to get better- they won't. A child would bring so much light into your life!
Being childless you are only living for yourself. Having a child means you are struggling to live for that extension of your own soul. Love takes on a whole new dimension with children, and I also feel sorry for fathers who work all day and cannot be a part of their child's growing up. Spending a couple of hours before dinner and bed doesn't even come close to raising a child from birth. Couples with children should take turns in working and staying home so each can experience the miracle that is having a child that looks into your eyes and sees your very soul.
If I could change my past to not be a single father- I wouldn't change a single thing!!!
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