Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?

I'm black and childfree by choice. A while ago, a family member told me that if I don't have kids, the black race will decrease. What the hell?? What does race have to do with being childfree?





Also as a black guy, I find white girls more attractive and if I were to have a intimate/long-term relationship with one, I never want kids in the relationship, just the two of us. No prejudice involved, but I'm not too crazy about kids. Now I know most women want kids, sadly.








Does race really have anything to do with being childfree and looking for a(n) intimate/long-term relationship with someone of another race but never have kids?Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
Tell your thoughtless family member that you and your friends (white, black, brown, etc) didn't know we were competing to make the most babies. Maybe your family member needs to think about educating his or her children rather than making more of them.





I guess your relative would say all the white men that date black women are doing some kind harm to the black race. I may have it all wrong but I think that all women (regardless of race) like to be loved. What is wrong with that?





I am white and most of my black friends are educated. Guess what. Most of my white friends are educated as well.





I think there are more child free white people, but that is just a coincidence. I have met quite a few black child free people.Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
I am white and dont' want kids! I know so many white people that are not having kids so tell our family member that the race wont die out because you don't want kids. tell them to stop living your life. i think your smart to not want kids. they are a life long issue that lots of people having kids probablly wish they would have not.
nope. all you have to do is find someone who thinks like you do.





tell your family member black people (or any people for that matter) won't disappear if a few decide not to reproduce.
I'm white ( so is my husband ) and we are childfree. Nothing to do with race.
Your family member is an idiot. White people are actually the minority on a global scale, not that white people will disappear if a few of us stop breeding. Race should have nothing to do with being childfree. It's just a choice that responsible adults sometimes make when they realize that they don't have the time nor the resources or are morally opposed to reproduction.





I'm a married, white, childfree woman and my husband is white as well, but I'll just let you know that whatever colour my husband's skin is makes little difference to me, then again, I'm not American and I know a lot of people are ignorant there. You'll find someone. Just be honest about your desire not to have children and consider getting a vasectomy. This way no woman will ever think she can change your mind and while you should continue to use condoms until you're in a monogamous relationship, if you get a vasectomy you're less likely to accidentally have sex with an irresponsible woman who will choose to have an unwanted children.

pimple

My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?

i am 44,he 57 ,married 4 years,he said if i dont want child,he decides to divorce because it's not fair for him. He said i am a mentally sick woman,every woman wants child,except me. He said i put my life at risk now to refuse to have child for him.





what is the best way to handle this more peacefully?My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?
Tell him he was born in the ice age, and welcome his divorce. You are not mentally sick, and no, not ';everyone'; wants one.


Tell him you welcome putting your life at risk and you don't need him. He's thickheaded there is no ';peaceful way';, he's obviously got a huge ego and wants to show it off to the world.My husband wants to divorce me because i want childfree,should i agree?
I guess the real question is did either of you discuss the possibility of having children before you got married, and what were your expectations, and did either or both of you make that known?


If he entered the marriage knowing that you didn't want children, and accepted that, and married anyway, then he is now at fault, because he wants to change the things you two had agreed to, and planned on.


If you knew that he wanted children, and you did not, and you did not tell him, in order to be married anyway, then you were at fault.


If neither of you brought this particular subject up before getting married then you are both at fault, for not having sorted out such a major issue before making the commitment.


Can your marriage get past this? Not if you both feel strongly about your point. It is too big an issue.
I think maybe I wouldn't give him a child, as you both are too old,you need to send him to a shrink, inform him of the facts of life, if we start now, hes 58 when the baby is 1, when the child's 10, and wanting to explore life riding bikes, etc, hes 68, and slowing down preferring to watch football, when the child is 15, in her teens, he is 78, and hasn't a chance of taking her to the fun parks in Queensland, forget Disneyland.He will be far better, to get in the real world, and start booking holidays, to Bali, Fiji, hong kong, where you both can have a ball and enjoy life.


If he is stuck in a groove, it could be a good to to reevaluate your life, and book yourself on a holiday to Bali, and maybe leaving him behind, might make the bum wake up, if not move on
This should have been discussed and resolved before your marriage. If you two can't do counseling, then, you may want to give him his divorce. After all, why would you bring a child into a home where they're half wanted. This would be an unhappy environment to bring a child up, and the marriage would be destroyed anyway before they are grown. Tell him to bring over his niece or nephews or friends kids when he has that farther feeling, and they may help change his mind. At least you can take them back to their parents once he figures out his selfish actions.
Not wanting a child does not make you mentally sick. I know women (and men) who don't want to have children. And that's just fine.





If I was married to someone who considered my lifestyle choices ';mentally sick';, I probably wouldn't want to be married to that person.





How is your relationship otherwise? How do you feel about him? Maybe it's worth trying couple counseling. Maybe counseling could show he can channel his father instinct other ways, such as coaching a sport, mentoring, --- by the way, Big Brother Big Sister organization always needs men who want to be a ';big brother'; to a little child without a good father figure.





And, hey, what's that about saying you put your life at risk? Is he threatening you???
Having children is not for every woman and their is nothing wrong with that. You can't be a good mother to a child you never wanted to have.





You were 40 when he married you. For most women that is too old to start a family for many reasons.





Didn't the two of you talk about having children BEFORE you got married? You should have.





What makes him think that he should have children, when he is 57 years old? When that child is 20 he will be 77.





What does he mean when he says you put your LIFE AT RISK NOW to refuse to have a child for him??? Is he threatening to kill you?





I would think twice about staying with a man who threatens my life in anyway, if I won't give him a child when I'm 44 years old.





Forget about handling this in a more peaceful way. Just run for the hills, girl! You don't need this kind of abuse. Yes this qualifies as abuse.
This is an issue you need to discuss BEFORE you get married.





You're not mentally sick for not wanting to have children. But if he wants children and you don't, then let him go. This is not an issue you can compromise on--you can't have half a child. Either way you go, someone in the relationship will be unhappy.





If you live in the US, he can get a divorce rather you agree to it or not.
First, you are NOT mentally sick. You are doing the right thing to not have a child if you do not want to be a Mother. Second, this is a major conflict of interests in a marriage, and you two probably should go your separate ways. There is, unfortunatly, no compromise on this. There is no ';meet in the middle';.
I am sorry to hear that you both have different opinions when it comes to having children.Only you two know exactly whether you are ready to bring in a new life.It is a serious commitment and decision.If that really matters that much to him, I feel you should let him go,unless you both can reach a really good and reasonable compromise.
Uh? He is mental. Asking a women in her mid forties to bare a child. Totally nuts!


At 44 you actually have a harder time with pregnancy than at an earlier age. (Including your own health) and your child has a higher risk of birth defects.


Furthermore he is dead wrong! Not every woman wants a child. I don't and quite a few of my friends down'
If you don't want a child then you don't want a child. Maybe you should be the one to ask for a divorce since he treats you like a breeding machine. Also at 57 he is also very old to be a father.
If you both have your minds set, then you should probably divorce. This was a discussion best suited before you got married.

Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?

I'm black and childfree by choice. Someone told me that if I don't have kids, the black race will decrease. What the heck?? What does race have to do with being childfree?





Also as a black guy, I prefer to date interracially. If I was to go long-term with a white girl, I wouldn't want kids in the relationship. Not becayse they'll be mixed, I'm just not too crazy about kids. Now I know most women want kids, sadly.








Does race really have anything to do with being childfree and looking for a(n) intimate/long-term relationship with someone of another race but never have kids?Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
The person who told you that is clearly someone you don鈥檛 need to be listening to.





I suppose if I marry a black woman I am hurting your race as well huh (sarcasm)? I guess that makes me terrible if I love her and treat her like a princess. Shame on me!





The USA is overpopulated, and so is much of Asia, India, and most of Africa. So I don鈥檛 see how you are harming anyone by not having children. Actually someone told me that the birth rate for blacks is much higher in the USA than for whites, so I don鈥檛 think you are doing any harm to your race.





Again why is it a completion? The landfills are full of diapers, the water is polluted and the air is full of smog. Do you think the diapers, water, and air care what color you are? No the Earth is in big trouble, and we are all humans. We are all in trouble regardless of who it is that is making too many babies.Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
Sweetie,I don't think race has anything to do with it. We have ignorant people of all colrs make comments like that. If whites keeps dating blacks and making kids there will be no more whites and blah blah blah. I'm white and have a black husband with 3 mixed children. There is no such thing as a ';pure'; race. Anyone in America is mixed with something. I'm not sure where you live but its pretty much that way worldwide. I think you're doing the right thing,there are way too many children in this world already who have no parents. Do what makes you happy and shrug off that ignorant statement that anyone says to you.
I don't believe so. There are some people who think that if their race doesn't carry on having kids it could die out. Ok. But to me, if a person wants to stay child-free it's their choice.





I agree with the geneology bit.
I agree with the first part, the second part I just want you to know as a man if you don't have Children you are killing your whole genealogy which is pretty sad but think about it OK my brotha!!!!

Why won't my husband stand up for OUR childfree lifestyle?

Over dinner with my husband last night, I was discussing a trip he will be taking out of the country for his nephew's Christening (Baptism? Whatever, the Catholic one). I'm unable to go, but I told him ';You have fun dodging the inevitable ';when are you going to have kids?'; questions. He told me, ';I've been pretty good at it so far.'; I asked what he meant, and this is the story.





We live about 300 miles away from our hometown, where his parents live. He visits them often, and usually without me because someone has to stay with the cats (they won't let us bring them). Apparently, his parents do keep bringing up the kids questions, and all he replies is, ';We aren't going to have kids.'; His parents say something about, ';Oh, you'll change your mind,'; and he doesn't say anything back. He could easily kill all this by just telling them I had my tubes tied, or even discussing further with them our decision. There's no need for them to keep bothering us about it, or for them to keep wondering. Let them get the disappointment over with already. But, he doesn't.





The thing that worries me is that I'm the one who pretty much decided to be childfree. I told him before we got married that I had no plans to have kids, so if he wanted them then he shouldn't marry me. He said that was okay with him, he didn't much like them anyway. So, I thought we were on the same page. I know his parents think it's all me, and I'm this horrible woman who stole their son and is refusing to give him children.





The thing is, I don't know if I should be annoyed at him for not standing up for me, and what is essentially his decision too because he chose to marry me. Or, if I should be concerned, and take his reluctance to stand up for me, for US, as his silent way of saying he thinks he made a mistake? Why won't he say anything, and how am I supposed to feel about this?Why won't my husband stand up for OUR childfree lifestyle?
He's just avoiding the inevitable. My husband will not tell his mother how he really feels about a lot of the things she says. He feels that she won't be around forever, so why upset her. He really is NOT anything like that with me! I know his every opinion. I think it's just a mom and son thing. As far as how you should feel, no one can tell you how to feel, all you can do is react appropriately to those feelings. If you've already told him to say something to his mom, and he won't, then don't worry about it. If they say something to you about it, tell them that both of you discussed it before you got married, and you both agreed. Emphasize BOTH so they'll get the hint. Otherwise, just let them wish and hope. Those are their feelings and they can't help them either.Why won't my husband stand up for OUR childfree lifestyle?
Perhaps he doesn't say anything more than ';We aren't going to have kids.'; because he doesn't feel any need to justify his position to his parents or any one else? That ';that is it, end of discussion';?
parents always want grandkids to spoil. you could always tell them yourself that you aren't having any kids if it really bugged you. and he tells them that you aren't having kids so i don't see what the problem is.
i think you are blowing this out of proportion. it doesn't seem to me that they are attacking you or him.





they are just being parents.





he says, you two don't plan on having kids.





what else do you want, lady?
As a 43-year old man with two teen boys who are almost off to college, I can sympathize just a teeny bit with their disappointment. Children are amazing things - they make me feel immortal, as if some of my hard work and way of looking at life will endure through them.





But, you absolutely have a 100% right to your own point of view. This shouldn't be a point of debate at all. This is just a guess - but I think your husband might be having doubts. Men don't like to argue if they aren't solidly behind the argument - they'd rather just leave it alone. You might need to discuss this with him, to make sure he's on the same page still.
Stop making such a big deal out of this. He probably just doesn't want to get into a big old hassle about it. I know from experience that sometimes its best just to let family members think what they're gonna think. After all, it sounds like it's like it's HIM they're nagging, not YOU. Then, he's got YOU giving him a bad time about not wanting to argue about it. It's not like he's pressuring YOU to get pregnant, so don't worry about it.





It's not really up to you or him to change his family. After all, there are worse things they could be doing, and I think you are being overly sensitive.
You sound pretty sure about your mind regarding this. He probably says nothing to you because of that. I think he's probably thinking he made a mistake, especially if he never thought of giving up having children before you told him you didn't want any. Does he have nieces and nephews? Do his best old friends have children? He's probably feeling like he does want children but doesn't know how to tell you or if he should tell you at all. I don't think you should be annoyed, he has a mind and heart instead or rocks, if he changed his mind is not because he decided to go against you. I say you rather talk to him and forget about the parents because just as you feel they influence them, they feel you influence their son and be honest, you probably do. Find out your husband's mind, be sensitive to his needs and open to his right to change his mind. It might not be any easy for him, he probably thinks he could loose you over this issue...Good luck.
Your body. Your choice. Why don't YOU be the big girl here and just tell them YOURSELF? I guess I don't see the big monster-ish problem here.


If they don't know they are NEVER going to be grandparents by YOU, of course they're going to keep dropping hints. The next time they say something within earshot of you; take your poor husband off the friggin hook and just TELL THEM ALREADY -- end of story.





Whether or not they like you is another issue altogether, but THIS problem is one you can just be done with.
this issue has little to do with you and him or him and his parents. this issue is between YOU and his parents. the fact that you use the cat as an excuse to stay home when he visits (and it's just an excuse and a lousy one at that) tells the whole story. you are in conflict with their belief system and you haven't given up the battle. you want HIM to so all of the dirty work here while you hide at home, and on top of that you want to blame HIM for ';not standing up for you'; which you know is bunk.





you will have to deal with this yourself as it's YOUR problem and NOT his.
He probably just doesn't want to deal with the big scene that he knows they are going to start when they find out you had your tubes tied! Not that I can say I blame him, but they are going to find out sooner or later anyway! Might as well just get it over with.
Did you guys get married kind of young? That sounds like the issue. You can be okay with that kind of decision at one point and then change your mind. Maybe he wanted kids and thought he'd be able to change you or that y'all could adopt and this is his way of telling you?





I would just tell him how you feel.
I am child-free and had a vasectomy at the age of 21. I have discovered that keeping my mouth shut is the best thing when it comes to my child-free status. You should do the same unless you just plan want to be hated. He is avoiding a pointless confrontation that would likely end his relationship with them. Trust me I know all about this.





I was the one fixed in several of my relationships that were slit by pressure from my in-laws. Parents that want to be grandparents do not accept the child-free lifestyle.
in a Catholic family/marriage you are to have children. his parents are already disappointed enough knowing that he tells them - we aren't having children. that is like a slap in the face to them.


is he to spit in their face too? by telling the you've had your tubes tied, you are doing just that. since you aren't the one who has to face them -- your cats are obviously more important that family - don't worry about it. your husband is handling it quite well.





obviously he loves his parents very much and doesn't want to disappoint them even more. it's called respect.
There's no reason for you not to travel together because of cats, there are places you can leave them you know. I had a well trained, very beloved predigree g.s. dog and I have left him at appropriate kennels. Some vets have facilities for them. It seems to me infants do matter to your husband he's going all that way to be at the baptism.[infant baptism isn't even biblical but that's another story]


Sounds like he comes from a very family oriented background. He also may feel diferently as time goes by-he may feel in a few years he's missing out on things. I would travel with him if I were you--keeping you home because of cats is a flimsy, foolish excuse for him to go 'home' alone. Worse case scenerio-someday in the future-he gets a young girl pregnant. He'll say 'she doesn't mean a thing to me! I agreed WE wouldn't have kids but this was an 'accident'.' Sounds unlikely? but life happens.
ease up, he doesnt want to disappoint his parents, and then he is in conflict with not disappointing you. sounds like a man stuck in the middle. dont keep putting him there.


let them think whatever, and you two should enjoy your own lives.
Ironic but its disheartening to disappoint parents. Even though we do it mostly all the time. I think its better to just not say anything. They're not going to change their mind and thinking...and just to avoid an argument. Its not like he's not standing up for u. But the way his parents seem like...they seem pretty stubborn. Stubborn people can't be dealt with by talking back to them lol it'll end up into a brawl.





I know from my parents. If I say one thing to my mom that she don't wanna hear or listen. She'll fire back for hours with stupid stupid irritating voice...so just not saying anything and walking away is the best way. Haha. Yea thats my reason. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Well he is telling them that you have decided not to have children, so I wouldn't say he isn't sticking up for you at all. He's probably just trying to avoid the aggravation of getting into an endless argument about it with his family. If it continues to bother you then just talk to him about it and see what his thoughts are on the subject.
Maybe he is just reluctant to tell his folks the truth because it will hurt and mystify them. Being Catholic, this may be a majjor blow to them and he just doesn't have the courage. I don't think it's really a matter of standing up for you it's deeply disappointing his parents . Of course this isn't fair to her, if grandchildren are not to be, he should tell them now or rather should have told them when you had your tubes tied. Thet could have taken her a lot easier then, now they also have his lies of ommission to contend with too.You need to talk to him, not about standing up for you, but the effect this is having on his parents and how much more unfair it becomes as time goes on. Does he tell his friends that you have had your tube ties, when they ask about when you'll have children. If so, maybe he finds it hard to talk about personal things. Whatever his reason he is being disrespectful to his parents. Both of you should go to a marriage counselor and get to the bottom of whatever is keeping him from telling them the truth. The news really needs to come from her, if you tell them they will blame you even more.

Why are parents so rude and judgemental towards the childfree?

Everytime, I ask why people wants and I don't want them, people always say I'll change my mind and all that. They always try to f**k with my mind, trying to discourage me from being childfree forever, which is why I'll more likely do.





I'm 19 moving to 20, I won't change my mind because I'm very uncomfortable around kids. For what these parents' criticisms, they've gained my strong hatred for them.





So, why are parents so rude and judgemental towards childfree people? Why do they always tell childfree people how to live their lives?





PS: I'd rather be single than put up with baby momma drama and the stress of kids. Most childfree people are single, right?Why are parents so rude and judgemental towards the childfree?
You don't have to explain anything to anyone, nor do you have to prove anything to anyone. I tell people that I don't want kids because I want to live life for myself.





To me that statement explains everything. I like being #1 in my life. I love my freedom. You can't put a price on freedom. It doesn't matter if you will change your mind because you're childfree right now. You might or you might not. Time will prove that one.





I'm 25. Childfree. Like another poster here said, she's religious about birth control, hehe, so am I. I've learned to ignore people, and live my happy go lucky life. If you want to win when you get into these heated arguments, try not to be rude, try not to get all angry and red faced.





Say your beliefs in a calm voice. They want to get you riled up, the way to win is to stay calm and keep a smile on your face. At least that is how I deal with rude customers at work. It works with other people as well.Why are parents so rude and judgemental towards the childfree?
your language skills are lacking. most people i know aren't rude and judgemental about much of anything, perhaps your attitude rubs people the wrong way! with your inability to even put your question in the right category, with your anger and your attitude, your 'strong hatred', your foul language, and your spelling, i would strongly suggest you don't have children - you should probably go get a vasectomy - soon - we don't need replicas of fools running around!
So young and rude, and yes its great to be childfree. Especially at 20 and untill you get school and your career started. But The only reason why other people may tell you that you may change your mind is because their is many people that do and many whom said i will never have children or get married!! So get over yourself and just have fun being 20 and stop worrying about what other people say!!
What the heck does this have to do with weddings?





Parents are stuck and they want you to be stuck too. Children are a lifetime committment and if you aren't prepared for that, you shouldn't have kids. You never know, you're only 20, you might change your mind, but don't let someone change it for you.
It probably goes both ways. Each group is rude to the other, who knows who started it? Not ALL people who have/want children tell those who don't how to live their lives. I want children more than anything yet I really don't care if someone doesn't want kids, it has nothing to do with my life.





P.S. ';payback'; is not a very mature concept.
They are probably rude because a part of them wants to be child-free again.





However, your post is very judgmental and rude too...





I know a few married people that are child-free and intend on staying that way...but we're in our mid-twenties so things may change.
I'm getting married and we plan to be child free.





I don't have a maternal bone in my body and my fiance doesn't want to bring kids into the messed up world we live in.
Wow dude - take your issues to the parenting section of Yahoo! Answers and leave the wedding section alone. Also, I'd suggest reading your Bible for some anger management therapy. Deal with your issues on your own.
Maybe they are rude because you are so angry. Who cares what others think? If you don't want kids then don't have them.





Also, why is this in weddings??
Everyone knows exactly what they want out of life by the time they鈥檙e 20 and never changes their minds.. *eye roll*
Maybe some people actually like kids.. *gasp* the world must be coming to an end!
Children suck.
Well, I think that maybe later in your life you will want kids. Right now I'm 20 as well and I don't want kids at all. In fact I'm so religious about my birth control, it's insane. Just because I don't EVER want to slip up.





I think your paternal instincts might kick in a little later in your life. Kids are a joy... but they're a lot of work too..





Don't poo poo parents, otherwise you wouldn't be here yourself :)
It may be because you are basically a child still. You're 19 and being thickheaded.





If you weren't afraid that you may change your mind then you wouldn't get so upset about what people say.





For the past 4.5 years I have heard it all because my husband and I have only one child and that is all we want. They constantly tell me that I will want more. I just ignore them and move the conversation on.





That's the difference between you and me - the level of maturity. I don't let it get to me.





When I was 19 I, too, didn't want any baby momma drama or the stress of kids. I was too young to be interested in anything that held too much responsibility. Then I grew up and 7 years later I popped out a kid, which has been drama free.
I know lots of childfree married people...I'm one of them! So are my sister and 4 out of my 6 brothers! We figure with 8 of us, we all got so sick of each other we just wanted some peace and quiet the rest of our lives! Parents tell their kids how to live their lives in all sorts of ways...they think it's their right and their duty. So you can either ignore them or come up with a pat line like ';I'm not interested in being a mom, I'll leave that to the women who really feel a need for children.'; Repeat as necessary and eventually they'll shut up.
Most of the people I know who have kids didn't plan them, and so I think there is still a part of people that wish the responsibilities weren't there, a feeling of missing out on not having to answer to anyone, or take care of anyone.





The older I get the more I want to have kids, but am not in the right place in my life, but I spent a good deal of time thinking I may never have them.





I suspect that most parents are rude to you because they see you as insulting their way of life, and their families, which they love very much. When you go against what society sees as the ';right thing to do';, you are often labeled and ostracized.





My advice would be to keep your opinions to yourself, and refuse comment when confronted.
I have been where you are.





To give you some background, I'm 41, female, and childfree (and married--so there are married CF people too!).





In my twenties I went through a little bit of a militant phase, a lot of childfree people do, where you let people know your stand on (not) having kids. When I was 20 I got the ';when you grow up and become more mature, you'll change your mind'; bingo too...and when I was 30...and 35...and now I get ';it's not too late!'; But I'm female, and to be female and say you don't want kids is a much bigger blasphemy than when a man says it. :-) Remember, society sees having kids as a responsible and mature thing to do. You probably see the news, so you can judge for yourself whether all parents are ';responsible'; and ';mature';. Also, a lot of people follow that life script to the letter without putting any thought into what they want out of life: got my degree--check. Got a decent job? Check. Spouse? Yep. Guess it's time to have kids!





So when you put it out there like that (indeed, even if you are just unapologetic about your decision), yeah, parents are going to be aggressive back because they feel like they, and their choices, are being personally attacked. And to a certain extent, maybe they are. Not that that's all bad, it's good to broaden peoples' horizons and let them know there are other ways of living one's life.





Eventually your CFness becomes part of who you are and you mellow out. You'll learn how to deal with the stupid narrow-minded comments (the ';bingos';), but sometimes people will ask you questions out of genuine curiosity, and that's where you can advance (y)our cause.





So live your life, pursue your dreams, and be happy. Remember--living well is the best revenge!
Why are you letting them get to you???





My grandmother's been bugging me about getting married since I was 20... I'm almost 35 and she still asks me almost everytime I talk to her on the phone. Everytime I'd answer.. ';I don't know';. Or ';first I have to have a victim I mean boyfriend grandma';, and I'd laugh. Until very recently I didnt have someone I really thought I could marry and be with forever. And I wasn't going to rush into anything just to satisfy my grandmother's need for me to be married. It wasnt until recently I started telling her... soon... because I actually DID find someone I want to marry! All that time though I never got pissed at her, lost my temper or anything. I just answered her... it was no big deal. And trust me, she's pushy!





You have to understand.. parents or grandparents hope that we experience all the wonderful happy things that THEY enjoyed too. Maybe your parents were very happy to have kids (as ungrateful as some of them may have turned out), and they don't want you to miss out on that. My grandmother wanted me to be married so I could experience the ';joy'; of being married. I can't hate her for that no matter how much she bugged me about it...





You shouldn't hate your parents for wanting you to be happy even if it's by their standards. If you think it'll make them leave you alone, next time tell them ';you'll see';. A very vague and ambigious answer.. because it doesnt say whether or not you're having kids. They'll assume you changed your mind and mean yes... when you really mean ';no you'll see that I'll never have kids';.





Bottom line... just live your life the way you want to... childfree. And don't let them get to you. If you let something THIS simple get to you, I can only imagine what's in store for you in the future. Good luck!

Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?

I'm black and childfree by choice. A while ago, a family member told me that if I don't have kids, the black race will decrease. What the hell?? What does race have to do with being childfree?





Also as a black guy, I find white girls more attractive and if I were to have a intimate/long-term relationship with one, I never want kids in the relationship, just the two of us. No prejudice involved, but I'm not too crazy about kids. Now I know most women want kids, sadly.








Does race really have anything to do with being childfree and looking for a(n) intimate/long-term relationship with someone of another race but never have kids?Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
Well I am a black women and in my opinion race has nothing to do with being '; child-free '; ( smh, lol )..I think it was foolish for your family to say something as dramatic as the race will cease if YOU don't have any children..There are plenty of blacks who are willing to have children. I don't see how finding white women attractive is even an issue. Why mention it. That is your personal choice and nobody cares. You are free to make you own decisions in life.Does race really have anything to do with being childfree?
well i don't know where you live but in the uk you are wayyy more likely to find a white woman who doesn't want kids as opposed to a black woman.





i can't imagine not having kids! but gd luck with that!
I don't have kids, yet. As for your attraction to white girls, I hope it is about love and not stereotypes.
That have nothing to do with race lots of different race don't want kids
No, one or two people aren't gonna make a difference. There's still plenty of people in all races who have kids.
Im a white woman and i dont want kids
No...my cousin is a white female and doesn't want kids...they're just not for her.
I like will smith....he raps happy....:)

Do you parents think it's fair that we childfree have to make up for your lack of working?

I post this on behalf of my husband, who is too polite (and Canadian) to say anything about it. Where he works, there is a big deadline looming in the next few months. Everyone has been working long hours to try to get the product out on time. So, I wasn't shocked when he said he had to work memorial day.





I was shocked; however, to find out he was one of the few people who had to come into work. Apparently, the people with ';families'; were conveniently not asked to come in. How uncool is that?! We ARE a family, a family of 2! And, maybe we would have liked to have spent that time together. Why are we getting punished because we have chosen to not have kids?! Do you all as parents really think this if fair treatment of the childfree?Do you parents think it's fair that we childfree have to make up for your lack of working?
I've been in this position before, and it is not fair. He needs to speak up about it. I worked at a company that tried to do ';mandatory overtime'; but all of the people with kids managed to get excused from it- and the rest of us complained, so they changed the policy. Mandatory holiday work should be on a rotating basis- everyone should have to suffer through it equally, kids or not.Do you parents think it's fair that we childfree have to make up for your lack of working?
Did you and your husband have plans for the holiday? Maybe they meant people with plans. I'm sure they did not mean to discriminate based on who had kids and who did not. Just have him speak to his supervisor about having the next holiday off, which would be fair.
Sounds like you should be taking your anger and bitterness out on your husband's company, not those of us who are blessed with children. I've never worked for companies with that policy and neither has my husband.Pretty ignorant to make such a blanket statement huh?
Contact the labor board in your state regarding not being paid for a company approved day off. i.e. he got paid for the holiday, but he did not get paid additionally for actually working that day.
Of course it's not fair, but don't blame parents...blame your husband's employer! I hope he will get compensated for his overtime!
take it up with the management, there is nothing we can do. yeah it sucks....sorry, everyone shouldve just gotten off then.
I agree that it isn't fair. Everyone should share the workload equally.
He needs to speak up about it.NOW. dont wait a second, not a minute, not a day
Well, I think you are completely biased here. My husband and I both often work weekends and holidays and have two children and one on the way. We are both salary (he's US military) and I even have a home office, so for us there is no set time off. If I have work to do I'll be downstairs in my office at 2 in the morning. So to answer the question, the boat rocks both ways.





BTW* I'm assuming he's Canadian and working in the States, because last time I checked I don't think Canadians get Memorial Day. I believe you just had Victoria day and then have Rememberence day in November...
i know the feeling. my fiance is a tattoo artist, and he rarely gets off work, for anything. christmas and thanksgiving is about it, and it sucks. we are a family too, but, his boss doesnt seem to care. as all the other tattoo shops were closed monday, they were working all day, and not one single costomer came in. in my case, it wouldnt do any good to talk to his boss, b/c his boss is a jerk, but, maybe if you two took it up with his boss, maybe it would work. if not, then i say go higher up in the chain of command. and it is unfair for you two. everyone deserves to be together on holidays

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